How do I tell a guy to slow down without making him feel like I'm not interested?
What Guys Said 1
Don't try to be nice, try to be clear without being rude. That's the best for both of you, anything less may be misconstrued by him leading to future problems. If he can't deal with you being open about this then he is too needy or controlling and it's better to know that now and not later.
What Girls Said 1
This dilemma really is kind of "your fault", ya know. ;) If you needed time to get over the old relationship, you shouldn't have opened an online dating account. But such as it is, dating sites are notorious for "hookups". It's possible that this guy just really ONLY wants sex. It also sounds like he must really like you, though, so it's tough. Absence DOES make the heart grow fonder, so I would stick to your guns. The truth is, you're a girl, and girls need time to do girl things! :) So, I would agree to 2-3 nights per week, and more if you are so inclined, but you need time to do your girl stuff, too.
This reminds me a little of my own situation. My boyfriend was a little needy in the beginning. He wanted to be with me ALL the time, and talk on the phone every free moment I had. I was used to having an independent life. Had it not been for the fact that we lived 7 hours away from eachother, it would have been too overwhelming for me, and almost was. But he turned out to be a real keeper, so I'm glad now how things worked out. :-) Over time, the phone calls got shorter and the neediness subsided, and I moved to his city. That was 11 years ago, and honestly, the best thing I ever did. I still can't believe I landed such an awesome guy.
If you feel chemistry too, I think I wouldn't break it off right away, but do encourage setting the date nights so you both have some time to do your own things and miss eachother.
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