Is it ok to make money rather spending time with your kid if you really need the money?

Me and my girlfriend have a 3 year old boys. I love them both but i work 12 hours shifts to get some income. I finished school and got a pretty good job. It's been 4 months now and i see my son only 1 time a week. I sometimes call to talk to him and my girlfriend. Last night my girlfriend got a bit mad cause i never take her out and i'am turning "cheap" to save money. Which is true. I think we really need the money and i can spend time with my son later on in life. I want to make sure he is ok. Is this a good way to think or not? My girlfriend insists i work for 6 days and not 7. But i think that one last day income is worth it.

What is your honest opinion on this? How would you girls or parents feel?


Most Helpful Girl

  • At this stage, he's still developing and a lot of his learning is based on the role models in his life and the relationships he has with them. At three years old, that's generally limited to a small group of children perhaps, his parents and maybe grandparents. You are incredibly important to him right now - you always will be, but now is special. It's good that you want to be able to give him money and make him comfortable, but remember that he needs his father. I would feel extremely upset with my partner if he only saw our child once a week.

    • i didn't know that actually. My girlfriend knows a lot more about kids than i do but i think she said that one time. I was thinking taking Sunday off and dedicating every Sunday to my girlfriend and son

    • I think that any time you can make to spend with your family is an improvement. I mean, even if it's not for his sake, think about yours. One day he's going to be grown up and living a life on his own and you're going to look back on the time you spent raising him and realise that you were maybe too focused on other things - although your intentions were good, and you won't have the memories or the bond that your girlfriend has with him. Just make sure that you're there for him because neither of you will grow up happy if you're not <3

    • yeah that is true. My girlfriend told me he asked her "where is daddy?" and she explained i had to work and that is when she came to me and told me this. I will make more time for sure

Most Helpful Guy

  • I understand where you're coming from, but I understand your girlfriend too. No mother wants her kid to have a Dad only once a week. Time is passing by, your child is learning new things every day, developing and growing and you're missing out on it all. I get that you're out there, making money and working hard, but "spending time with your son later on in life" is not a good parenting strategy. Your kid needs a Dad now. If you're not there, what your child will remember one day is not that you were working hard but that you weren't there.

    • i guess i make more time to spend with him

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What Girls Said 2

  • I feel like I wish my dad was more around me but if its a must than go. But if you could try to balance it out so your daughter doesn't feel some sort of pain.

    • my son lol, i don't have a daughter. well i mean maybe taking Sunday off would be ok

    • lol sorry... I have such a big ego and I only think of me! hahah

  • You will never be able to get this time back with them. Sure maybe you can spend time with them when they are older, but will they want to spend time with you then? Or what if something bad happens and either you or your son dies? Will you regret not spending the time you had with him then?

    Of course, being able to pay your bills is important. Its all a balancing act of getting your priorities right.

    • sorry in the question i accidentally wrote sons, i meant *son* i only have one kid. My kid won't die, i just don't like how you said that. But overall i will make more time to spend with my girlfriend and my son

    • Everyone dies. I will die. You will. Your son will. Hopefully none of us will die for many decades, but there is no guarantee that we won't. Don't take your time together for granted just because you don't like thinking about the alternative.

    • I took it out of context, I though you meant like if he were to die tomorrow or something. I will make more time to spend with him for sure

What Guys Said 0

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