So, I am a muslim girl wearing the hijab. A lot of people in my life (very mostly girls) have told me that I am a very pretty girl. But I don`t understand why I never or almost never get approched! I am kind of shy with boys and dont have many close guy friends but a lot of people know me in the community and I am not isolated. I guess I have a pretty good reputation and I am known to be a decent and mature girl. So can someone tell me whats the barrier that makes me so unapproched. Thanks for the help!!
Most Helpful Guy
You know, I think you may be looking at this wrong. You bring up the hijab as a possible barrier, but a hijab can look really pretty, and wouldn't be something that would deter people, especially not muslim men.
The thing is, you can look around this site and you will see a ton of questions by girls that are asking the exact same thing - I am really pretty, but I don't get approached by boys... and this is coming from white girls, black girls, Asian girls, Christian girls, atheist girls... basically the exact same problem is happening for girls that do not have ethnicity in common, and do not have religion in common. So I think those elements are not important in the question. What they DO have in common, is age. It is almost always late teens and early twenties, and almost always girls that say their friends say they are pretty, but they are pretty shy.
The issue, really, is a reflection of the emotional and hormonal state of guys in that age bracket. At that age, in particular, there are certain chemical and hormonal changes going on in a guys head, but the prefrontal cortex is still not fully developed. Which basically means... the guys that have the aggressiveness to approach women, are looking for women for physical reasons. And the guys that tend to have a more long term relationship-centric desire are often lacking the impetus or ability to find and talk to the types of girls that would work.
This usually works itself by mid-20s, as then the girls are in the comfort range of guys in their late 20s, who have the prefrontal cortex finished cooking, and who feel confident enough in their life to start actually approaching women, even if the women are shy. The 'solution' is two-fold. Either wait, and spend the time focusing on yourself, on your education, on learning about what is important to you and making sure you are an awesome person for whom a partner would be a cool addition, but not a necessary thing because you are awesome as you are, and know that men will come around anyway. Or, take matters into your own hand and start approaching some of the shy guys yourself, the guys that would be interested in you for you and not you as a physical thing, but who may be not quite confident enough yet to pursue someone that seemed both attractive and religious.0
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