I very rarely get approched but I get told a lot that I am pretty?

So, I am a muslim girl wearing the hijab. A lot of people in my life (very mostly girls) have told me that I am a very pretty girl. But I don`t understand why I never or almost never get approched! I am kind of shy with boys and dont have many close guy friends but a lot of people know me in the community and I am not isolated. I guess I have a pretty good reputation and I am known to be a decent and mature girl. So can someone tell me whats the barrier that makes me so unapproched. Thanks for the help!!


Most Helpful Guy

  • You know, I think you may be looking at this wrong. You bring up the hijab as a possible barrier, but a hijab can look really pretty, and wouldn't be something that would deter people, especially not muslim men.

    The thing is, you can look around this site and you will see a ton of questions by girls that are asking the exact same thing - I am really pretty, but I don't get approached by boys... and this is coming from white girls, black girls, Asian girls, Christian girls, atheist girls... basically the exact same problem is happening for girls that do not have ethnicity in common, and do not have religion in common. So I think those elements are not important in the question. What they DO have in common, is age. It is almost always late teens and early twenties, and almost always girls that say their friends say they are pretty, but they are pretty shy.

    The issue, really, is a reflection of the emotional and hormonal state of guys in that age bracket. At that age, in particular, there are certain chemical and hormonal changes going on in a guys head, but the prefrontal cortex is still not fully developed. Which basically means... the guys that have the aggressiveness to approach women, are looking for women for physical reasons. And the guys that tend to have a more long term relationship-centric desire are often lacking the impetus or ability to find and talk to the types of girls that would work.

    This usually works itself by mid-20s, as then the girls are in the comfort range of guys in their late 20s, who have the prefrontal cortex finished cooking, and who feel confident enough in their life to start actually approaching women, even if the women are shy. The 'solution' is two-fold. Either wait, and spend the time focusing on yourself, on your education, on learning about what is important to you and making sure you are an awesome person for whom a partner would be a cool addition, but not a necessary thing because you are awesome as you are, and know that men will come around anyway. Or, take matters into your own hand and start approaching some of the shy guys yourself, the guys that would be interested in you for you and not you as a physical thing, but who may be not quite confident enough yet to pursue someone that seemed both attractive and religious.

    • man, she is muslim and wears a hijab... No one is allowed to approach her without her permission, hijab is like a confidence flag and i am sure that nobody want to mess with a confident, religious girl unless he want to be her future husband. in Islam, there is no such girlfriend or boyfriend, it is either Single, engaged or married.

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    • I understand your point and I think you brought up some interesting and true points.. But in my community , my age is the age where girl get engaged and married. So its not a problem that is related to a lack of maturity or something like that..

    • ccmw.com/.../

      14.1% of young Muslim women in Canada are married by the age of 24. Which means 85.9% of Muslim women in Canada are not married before 24. So, while it is true that there is a tendency for Muslim women to marry early compared to, say, atheists, that % is still far too low for it to be considered the norm. That's not even one fifth.

      If you happen to be part of some particular sub-community that is radically different than the typical experience, then you should probably discuss it as it would clearly have a huge impact on why you were not being approached. Like, with numbers like 14% under 25 being married, most of my points still stay super valid regarding potential issues for a 20 year old. If your specific community has numbers radically different than those of Canadian Muslims, and you are in Canada, it seems to me that the particulars of that community would be responsible for both the change in age for marriage, and why you were not chosen.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys might think that you're closed off because of religion. They make think you're pretty but off limits, you know?

    • well I know that it is normal to not be approched by non muslim guys, but I am talking about the people of my community wich are muslim guys that are definetly attracted to muslim hijabi girls.

    • Ah, okay. Some guys are intimidated by very pretty girl. Smile more, make yourself look more approachable :)

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What Guys Said 4

  • If you're a muslim girl who dresses as such in the USA or Canada... isn't it only normal you wouldn't get approached that much? At least by non-muslims?

    • yes I understand its normal that non muslim guys might not be attracted to me but I am talking about muslims guys of my comunity wich intend to date muslim hijabi girls.

    • Oh, then they're probably off trying to convince local girls to sleep with them.

  • it is not just girls facing this problem, it is also includes muslim men. Some girls are not interested to be with muslim guys as they want to live their lifestyle according to their born believes. muslim community has a religious reputation. it is difficult to convince non-muslim to change and act like muslim unless he/she do it with his own intention.

  • Ummm ok ok
    tbh I'm obsessed with Muslim girls 😍
    Cause they are truly gorgeous
    If you're too beautiful then guys will think that you're out of their league
    You said you wear hijab so guys who only wants sex will never approach you cause you seems to be religious
    Your reputation make a difference
    And last but not the least
    Is that
    I'm single
    Ready to mingle
    😂 LOL

  • Men get intimidated by beauty and are scared to approach because he thinks that she is way out of his league. This could well be the reason.


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