Anytime I try to tell my boyfriend something is bothering me he shuts down?

I told him that isn't fair to me because I'm not saying he did anything wrong I'm just letting him know what I am feeling so he isn't left wondering what's wrong. That someone's I just need to get it out there and it will blow over in a couple hours.

Move only told him I was upset about something three times in 5 months and he said I make the relationship too hard. I asked him to please not go to that every time I get up the nerve to voice what I'm feeling because it makes me feel like I can't share anything with him which just makes it worse.

How can a guy honestly expect to be in a relationship and never have any sort of conflict? He told me he tries everything to make me happy which I told him isn't his job and he shouldn't have to feel like that. That I am happy most of the time but when something has really upset me I shouldn't have to be afraid to voice that. It almost feels like emotional blackmail.

What at is your definition of a difficult relationship?

im kind of just thinking his interest in me is minimal so as long as I'm being a good girl we can be together but the second I need a little reassurance or get upset it becomes more trouble than it's worth for him. 😕

women don't work this way if we aren't feeling it we bail. He dragged one girl along in and on again off again 'undefined' relationship for 3 years. I asked him please to not do that to me because it is painful and not fair.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Some of us are not very good at resolution of problems or for making another feel better. Since we cannot do that, inside it makes us feel like failures. That is why we rather not hear about such problems. It is easier if u zip it and let all calm down in 2-4 days.

    I know. Not a good behavioral trait but it is what it is.

    • He broke up with me this morning. We had a discussion last night. This morning he laid in bed with his eyes open for a long while not talking to me. Finally he told me he just doesn't think he as into our relationship as I am.

      I thanked him for finally telling me the truth but he looked like he was mad and wanted to punche in the face. I could see he wanted to say something but didn't.

      Pretty much I guess he feels backed into a corner. My whole thing last night was sometimes I just need some reassurance from him. Prior to the conversation when we had sex there was no foreplay, no kissing he just went to stick it in the it was like I wasn't even there to him I was just meat. I hurt really bad downstairs now.

      I don't want to overuse this word but I almost felt as if I had been violated. That's when I woke him up and asked him why he f*cked me like that and he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about even though I was so upset I was sobbing and shaking.

    • Show All
    • Wish you the best.

    • I hope you are feeling OK.

Most Helpful Girl

  • People who are self-serving OFTEN don't want to listen because the changes you might asking for ruin it for them, it's all about THEM. If you feel as if you're being strung along, not heard, or respected, and IF you've made numerous attempts to fix things so you can feel happy and this is all for nothing, it's time to walk.

    • Thanks this makes a lot of sense. He's frustrated because he thinks he does everything he can to make me happy and I'm being unreasonable.

      I guess to put it simply I know seeing me isn't the highlight of his day. He wants a relationship but like you said above only on his terms I guess.

      I guess I'm not so sad he is gone. I'm just hurt and upset because I gave him so much warmth and love but only got counterfeit love in return.

      He hasn't been in love since freshman year of college. Stupid of me to think I could be the one who turns that around for him.

    • We all live and learn and I've made mistakes and bad judgement calls resulting in investing in the wrong people - this is a part of life. So we can empower ourselves by learning to take more time assessing potential partners more upfront BEFORE we invest in them... also, learn what the signs are of men who do want a REAL relationship - it's hard because guys are smooth talkers who know how to fool us. But if you learn to weed out the weak customers you can then find and invest the one who's worth it.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Your boyfriend should want you to feel comfortable expressing your concerns/problems with him not making you feel guilty that the relationship isn't all sunshine's and rainbows. There will ALWAYS be problems when it comes to relationships and if he can't comprehend that then he shouldn't be in one.

    I would tell him that you both need to feel comfortable talking about problems faced in the relationship and its perfectly normal to have problems. How are you going to prevent these things from happening again if you or him don't know that there was even a problem there in the first place... also that he has no right making you feel in the wrong for having concerns. Tell him that If he wants to make you happy he needs to start being attentive when listening and coming up with solutions with you and or reassuring you if it is something that he is doing that you aren't comfortable with.

    If there is still no change I would really consider if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in, you will just feel like he doesn't care about you and will always be second guessing yourself in regards to "do I tell him or not" If he really cares for you he wouldn't want you to feel upset and would want you to talk about it if you were.



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