Not too long ago today, was relaxing with my boyfriend, and his phone goes off; he got a text. Immediately, he pulls away to open it. I can clearly see a name, and a sentence, probably about a line long. Now, I never ask my boyfriend to see his phone, never go through it, nothing. However this one was weird because of his quick reaction so I asked, "Oh who is it?" He says, "I don't know" and deletes the message. I ask him again, and he says he doesn't know. So I told him I saw that it's obviously a contact in his phone and he said it was just someone that said hey, to which I said, "it was more than hey, why are you lying? I saw the front screen." To keep this story short, he slowly unraveled that it was his guy friend from his old school saying he's out of school. Now, if this was actually true, I just don't understand why it wasn't told in the first place. I'm talking, this was an hour long argument of me trying to force an answer out of him instead of him saying "I don't know why I deleted it". And even to this moment, he can't even tell me who it was. Says he doesn't remember the name other than it starts with M. He seemed extremely apologetic when it finally came out and said he's not use to not feeling like he has to hide anything, and that he had no reason to act the way he did and he's sorry. But we've been dating for 5 months... The reason I could be overthinking this is because I have been in this exact situation TWICE with two different relationships, of which both turned out to be them talking to other girls.
I just really need some outside opinions.
Most Helpful Guy
Thats a red flag... but he deleted it without replying. It could have been a sext or something like that he didn't ask for and didn't want you seeing. If you are certain he did delete it and did not reply, give him a chance. Explain how you've been cheated on before and how much this bothers you, see where it goes from there
Most Helpful Girl
It was NOT his friend telling him he was out of school, it was another female. He's lying. Just play it cool, don't mention it again at all... Let him get real comfortable! In fact, apologize for asking about it. Eventually, he'll get so comfy, he'll leave you enough proof to catch him... Your big question shouldn't be are you over reacting, but if it is another girl (which it is) what are you willing to do about it? Arguing doesn't help? Is it a deal breaker? Have you 2 discussed being exclusive? 5 months isn't that long of an investment! And if he'll lie now, he'll lie later.