I am so fucking pissed with her that I could literally hit her. I have this permanent grudge that I will never be able to shake. Her and I have dated off and on as a result of her not EVER willing to have sex. Now she wants to talk about why am I angry. Why do some women make men wait so fucking long?
Most Helpful Girl
If it was that much of an issue to you and you are holding a grudge over it, you never should have stayed with her. It could be for multiple reasons: She may have been sexually abused and was facing trauma you didn't know about, it could be that she felt uncomfortable or pressured, it could be that she was insecure. I personally wouldn't wait that long, even being a virgin myself, but if it's so severe that you want to physically hit her... you should have stayed broken up. That's not something you think of when you truly love somebody.6
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Most Helpful Guy
Have you heard the three-layer brain theory? There's the Negotiator, the "Monkey," and the "Lizard." I have a strong Negotiator, but an almost-as-strong Monkey that tends to get in the way. You sound like your Lizard is the one primarily in control. Might wish to get some help. It's very bad to be a man with a Lizard brain.
If a relationship to you is primarily about sex, then you don't comprehend the soul of your own humanity nor do you have any comprehension of vocational destiny, volition dilemma, true one-ness, et. al. And going full circle on the religious implications would only send you into a lizard rampage.
Having a lizard brain means you will never be fulfilled until you develop yourself and your thinking beyond the materialistic, no matter how much you fulfill your lizard brain's requests. You will never feel complete or happy. Which is why even when you get what your lizard brain wants, you respond with anger and ingratitude. It is a most pathetic way to live, to think, to be. There are long-term felons with higher brain function than yours, but you don't have to stay that way. For many, this kind of mental and spiritual retardation is a choice. No time like now, to choose to learn to think at a higher plane.
To have a woman as fully dedicated to me come whatever may, as I am to her, to know that only God can fulfill her and actualize her more than myself, and to have her be a similar patch to my soul... I would trade incalculable evenings of good sex, just to know that I need no longer worry, to go no longer through life empty; fearing my lonely existence to be with unknown purpose.
Perhaps there is hope for both of us. But only for you, if you allow something other than your inner lizard to control you.1