How do I stop hating women?

Girlfriend cheated on me while in the military. Moved on and met another beautiful girl.. fiance cheated on me when I was going through more training and completley disreguarded me from her life. I just don't respect women at this point and I hate to say that because I have a good heart and my mother didn't raise me like that. After having my heart literally torn out twice I think I'm done. This past year all I've been doing is having sex and telling them to basically fuck off. I just can't find any respect for them at all anymore. Should I seek counseling or therapy? I'm not happy sleeping around but I'm content and I'm moving foward with my life.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Two women cheated on you (only) because they weren't getting what they wanted from the relationship (women cheat for emotional purposes mostly). Was it the worst way to respond? Yes. But it's not about them being horrible, manipulative, piece-of-crap people, they just didn't get their needs met, and sought to satisfy those needs elsewhere. Because two women hurt you, doesn't mean we are all inherently the same, or that we will behave in the same way. You have to find acceptance about the situation, and forgive, so that you can feel indifferent about those past relationships, and learn to understand that having bad experiences like that means you have an opportunity to learn from them. But also, it's unfair of you to punish other women for the pain you were caused by your exs, and by taking that action (sleep with them and throw them away), you're making other women feel as used, disrespected, and disposable as I can imagine you felt. Break the cycle, and until you can learn to respect women again, perhaps don't repeat the actions you have, because it's a destructive cycle, for yourself and others.

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    • I disagree with that. Women cheat if they see a better looking guy coming along.

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    • Pretty sure I can more accurately express the motivates of females than two guys. But as I said, if you continue the destructive cycle instead of learn from it, then you get what you deserve.

    • Also if the guy cannot fulfill needs then too women may cheat!! you're absolutely right!! @shadowlegend

Most Helpful Guy

  • Therapy. For sure... You need to realize that all women are not sluts and whores. Some will be loyal. Most, I should hope.

    At the same time, I understand it can be hard on any relationship when one person is always going away in the military, being gone for long stretches of time. It strains any relationship. I feel like the odds that your partner could become dissatisfied and perhaps even lonely, looking for attention and/or affection from another source goes way up b/c of your chosen career. But I'm just guessing here.

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What Girls Said 11

  • doesn't sound like it has anything to do with respect. you're just scared you'll be hurt. nd you're trying to wrap it up in a way that looks like control. iff you're just fiucking sand you're not happy with it, you're not in control. you're at the mercy of your fear.

    i didn't work out with two women. many people have to go through more than that before they find someone they fit with. if you could see it as trial and error instead of a personal attack against you by evil spawn, it might help.

    also guys do this all the time. they didn't screw you over bc they are women, so this should have nothing to do with 'women' esp bc there were only two out of billions. you just found two that didn't work out. honestly women go through more guys than this. before they find a guy who isn't going to screw them over--just like you're doing now,. you complain about women but your behavior is contributing to women not treating men.

    casual sex is fine if you're not ready to open up, but dont be a prick about it,. and be upfront and respectful. its not their fault you got screwed.

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  • Your hatred is harming you more than it's hurting anyone else.
    If this hatred is making you upset, do something about it.
    You should seek counseling/therapy. Someone that is qualified to help you.

    It's perfectly normal to be bitter and upset, but I don't think it's normal to hate and have 0 respect for women because of what those 2 women did to you. Obviously what they did was wrong. What they did was so damaging that it's affected you. It's hurt you so badly that it's sucking away at you. But by feeling the way you are, you are giving those women in your past control over you. You let their past actions affect you forever if you don't change.

    Take back the control and get help.

    Not all women are like that.

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  • dont loose hope, your obviously scared and left with some trust issues and thats understandable but there is someone for everyone

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  • Simple... you have horrible taste in women. Ask yourself this honestly; the girls you dated... did they have any hobbies or interests? Were they respectful to your friends and family? WHERE did you meet them (a club should tell you all you need to know). How many people did they date before you (if they've been with 15+ guys that's not good sign, especially if they slept with all of them).
    Most women aren't like that. You're just struggling because it seems like you're dating "basic bitches".
    Don't tell these innocent other girls to fuck off because you were cheated on. I bet you, some of the many girls you've dissed in the last year have been cheated on by THEIR boyfriends at some point. That's so not fair to them. Do you think you're the only one who struggles in love? Love takes effort.

    Not saying this to be mean or harsh, but you have to genuinely re-evaluate yourself :) You're not the only one struggling you know?

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  • It all takes a little bit of time. Just work on changing your mindset

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  • You need thearpy for the same reason i never want to have a bf!

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  • you were just unlucky. Dont forget it.

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  • Hanging out of GAG won't help! This is a cesspool of hate.

    In sorry for your pain. Going slow with people and really getting to know them helps. Nothing is wrong with casual sex, but there's no need to be a dick about it. Think about what non physical traits attract you to certain women and reevaluate if they're indicators of what you really want. Change up your routine. That's what dating advice usually says.

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  • Yeah man, you need some extra help to sort out shit you can't sort out yourself. I honestly am depressed af lol and I get help, it's been a year or so and I feel like I'm just trying to get by everyday

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  • Cheating is the most ugly and disgusting thing is human personality. I hate it. If you are with a person you should be with him and only with him. If something's wrong then leave him and be with another. But don't cheat!
    Really sorry for what happened to you, but don't think all women are like that. There are still girls who will love you and want to share their love only with you. It'll be difficult for you to trust someone again but you should try. Forget everything and if you want to have a serious relationship - start over again. Find a girl, hang out together, and if isn't good find another.. so just keep going. Wish you luck.

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What Guys Said 20

  • See.. the thing is you know there will be these problems that might happen... so make sure she's the one that's loyal, and is truly happy to be with you, while you also need to know whether you love her entirely or I don't know just her physical body or just her characteristic... so yeah, meet someone better, don't move on before knowing how much you meant to her and how much she meant to you.

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  • Therapy sounds like a good idea. I'm sorry you had to go through that bullshit. Just remember that there are women in the world who are as good as your mother/grandmother/best female friend.

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  • You have great sacrifice for your country and to be away from home and to be treated from girls this way it is too much... Girls nowadays easily give up the relationship for someone better... It sucks but that is life I have big salute for the wives of the soldiers that remain faithful

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  • Understand this was beyond your control. You're in the military, yes? 9/10 times you're away from home. Your professional life will quickly become your social life. You'll rack up a lot of overtime, but you're rarely home. Trust me, I've had family in the service. I heard a sergeant say, once, that if the military wanted you to have a spouse, they'd issue you one. Remember that.

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  • Sleeping around? In other words, you just dumped a possible wife girl.

    Not to ask a obvious and dumb question, BUT did you tell those women you might be gone for a while in the military, like before you ever really started dating them?

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    • Of course they knew. And the last one was about to marry me. How do you think it feels to get dumped and then never have her talk to you again.

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    • Heck, even my aunt is still single, her relationships didn't work out. When I look at people your age I still see kids... no offense, even though my neighbors next door are in their early 20's like you and just had a baby.

    • I wish I had a mentality like you do when I was 22, I just might be married now, BUT I didn't. I felt like I was a kid back then. Maybe perhaps date a girl, but marriage and kids seems a million years away.

  • Do what you want, but you should know not all women are like that.
    Also, I would recommend you be nice with the girls you sleep with. Just because you're not ever going to see them again doesn't mean you should be a jackass to them.

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  • You were only dating wrong kind of women. Sorry bro, I think you should improve yourself to a better version so that you can attract the same kind of women that are close to your personality types.

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  • Yeah, man that suuuuucks. Those were just two bad eggs, I definitely think counseling would help. The more you learn about yourself the better prepared you'll be for the next relationship.

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  • Man I feel u with the cheating tbh there is a girl out the for u... your military I'm planing on it but for u try to find military girl she will understand the long waits

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    • Man I thought the same way at 17. I'm 22 and that makes me a grandpa to you but I'm just jaded as fuck now.

    • Ya man I know its hard push throught I mean fuck dude your a bad as fucking soldier you will get that one girl that will always be there for u

  • Yes, seek counseling but I understand my girlfriend left me for another and kicked me out her life but what we have to understand is that all women are not the same

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