Where are we now?

Where are we now?

A year ago we first hooked up and slept together after a night out. A month after he asked me out on a date over the holidays and we out again two days later. At that point I was still in school, three hours away so we's just hook up when we’d see eachother. I moved back after finishing school and we continued to hook. Until one night out he made a rude comment so I refused to kiss him and he got mad and left. He thought I turned him down. We went camping with our friends the week after and I came last minute and he was apparently upset that I was coming. We didn't hook up for the next 3 months, until 2 months ago we hooked up again when we were out. And a few weeks ago he got pretty jealous when I was on the phone with another guy and called me a mean girl lol. I really do enjoy spending time with him. At this point Im not okay with just hooking up with him randomly when I see him because I have feelings and care about him.

I invited him to a concert lastnight with two other friends of ours and he came, we went out after too then ended up back at his place. We haven't talked about our feelings with eachother much until yesterday.. I asked him if he liked me and he said ofcourse so I told him I do too, and that I care about him, but he was sort of in disbelief when I said I care about him..

I feel we really do have something.. we cannot keep away when we see eachother. He's always trying to sit next to me or gets really shy around me when were not drinking and avoids eye contact.

Where do we stand now? Can we progress and actually date again? Im thinking to ask him to hang out with me this week


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What Guys Said 2

  • The problem you are having is that you have a sort-of relationship without having had any discussion of expectation or boundaries. You need to talk. Tell him, "I have feelings for you. I want us to date exclusively. I don't want to be with anyone else and I don't want you to be with anyone else. I want us to be like a committed couple, doing things together and spending our time together. I want you to introduce me as your girlfriend and I want to introduce you as my boyfriend. I want is to agree that, if we have a disagreement, we will work on resolving our difference rather than just running away from it. I want t know that I can count on you and I want you to know that you can count on me."

    After that conversation, you will either be a confirmed couple, or you will have chased him away. You will probably be a couple. . . but if he doesn't want what you want, you should learn that now, not three years fro now.

    • So I did tell him, I have feelings for him and I care about him. I told him I don't want to just keep hooking up when I see him and want to spend time with him. I feel if I say that we should be a couple that might scare him though, maybe a little much. I think we need to spend time first and get to know each other more. But you're right, we need to figure this out now, it is driving me crazy and I dont want to keep doing this if it's going nowhere since its already been a year.

  • Right now at this time you're just fwb's. If you date and get more serious is up to him. I know you want and the only way to find out is ask him where he sees you in the future

    • I told him I don't want to just keep hooking up when I see him and want to spend time with him. I told him I do like him and care about him and he says he likes me too. He's not seeing anyone else and I'm not either. But anyways I feel I am the one whos always messaging him first, invited him to hangout yesterday etc, and he isn't putting in any effort.. honestly should I just give up.. like I feel I am just making all the effort.. I do really like him and care about him but if he did too wouldn't he at least do or say something, now that he knows how I feel?

    • He doesn't want that. All he wants is to hook up

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