Is it strange that guys I am NOT interested in romantically I have sexual relations with but with guys I'm truly interested I don't?

I noticed a pattern with my dating life. I'm 21.. I talk to guys frequently and get asked out a lot. With guys who I know I could never actually date romantically due to different interests, personalities, etc. & there isn't a click, I find no problem kissing and making out with among other things (and right away as well). But then with guys I find so interesting and want to actually date them, who I value more, I don't want to kiss them right away or do anything sexual until like a month in. Is that normal? Is that a good thing? Do guys understand this? If I tell this guy I'm seeing right now that I want to wait, he should understand why? And not take it as disinterest but that I value and respect him more?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think I understand it. Guys you are serious with you are going to want to put your best foot forward, and same for us choosing girls. You need a quality mate that respects you and sees you for more than a cheap fuck. You want to be able to introduce them to your family or your parents and have some recognition from them for choosing an excellent potential mate. You are not going to show them crud you picked up or cheap flings you found.

    I think its normal to show your best in getting a potential life partner.

    • you're talking about something different. reputation and impressions... its not about presentation, its about actually WANTING to go slower. not because of how it looks but because of how you feel inside. i font think you're grasping that part. sensate trying tho not look like a slut. she literally does not fee;l like having sex right away with guys she really likes.

    • @Azara true!!! Yes. I genuinely don't want to move fast because I want to savor it all. I don't care what others view me as... I just want to take the guy all in and not in a physical way haha.

    • Sometimes a guy can feel that way too. I am sure you will meet someone who feels the same!

Most Helpful Girl

  • makes sense to me. when you value something you want to be careful with it also you want to experience thew whole thing each step not just get it all over with.,

    its like an excellent meal you savor but if you're just really hungry you have crackers and there's not much to savor just does the job.

    a lot of guys seem to think if you really like them roll want to fck immediately but i think some will understand. the ones who also like to take their time with women they really like,

    i dont think one way or the other is righter or wrong. i think yo can genuinely be passionate about a person and want them immediately and you can genuinely be passionate and want to take time. probably depends upon your history and howe trusting you are etc and if you're into immediate gratification or not. but its all whatever you want.

    i just happen to understand your position.


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What Guys Said 2

  • That's what every girl does, and I hate that. Why would you not want to kiss and have sex with someone you have feelings for, but you have no problem doing all sorts of freaky things with a stranger, or a friend?
    I don't get it. If I'm dating a girl who has previously had casual sex, but made me wait, I'm done with her, to me, she doesn't like me, or she's using me.

    • she never said she didn't want to, just not right away.

    • Show All
    • I don't view my body as my most vulnerable self. For me it's more mentally and emotionally.. Not physically

    • Same thing applies, it's not just your body, but when you're having sex you're more vulnerable emotionally, but you still decide to do it with anyone you find attractive except for the guy you care for :/

  • Ugh this is what women do? Now I know which ones to avoid. If she doesn't put out immediately she's not attracted to me?

    • I'm the most attracted to him and I'm not putting out, so no that's not correct

    • Show All
    • Why is a turn off?

    • Because you would fuck another guy more easily and give yourself up easier for some hot guy than your own boyfriend. Huge, massive turn off.

What Girls Said 2

  • No, it's not strange.

    This is probably terrible, but if a guy has sex with me, I assume he doesn't love me.

    The guy I am with now doesn't have sex with me, and I am nuts about it.

    Love can exist without sex, and sex can exist without love.

    • Agreed. Thank you (:

    • This is probably terrible, but if a guy has sex with me, I assume he doesn't love me.

      lol i totally understand this.

  • I think that's completely normal.


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