My girlfriend said that I'm controlling because I felt uncomfortable with her going to the movies alone with a guy she barely knows. We've been dating for 2 years, but she only talked to the guy a few months ago. Plus, she wanted to hangout at his house after the movie. The guy ended up apologizing to me for not asking me if it was okay. He even said he would feel uncomfortable if he had a girlfriend who wanted to have alone time with another guy. It was the guy I didn't trust, NOT her. Basically, because he tried to flirt at first while her and I were on the phone. I NEVER tell her she can't go anywhere or do anything. That would be crossing the line. I do let her know when something makes me feel uncomfortable, which is not often. She says being uncomfortable means I'm controlling. I don't see how when I don't tell her what to do. Long story short, am I being controlling by being uncomfortable with that situation? Or is it her trying to twist things up?
Most Helpful Girl
No, it is not. You may want to get your girlfriend a dictionary so she can see that controlling and uncomfortable don't even have close to the same meaning. Uncomfortable, just means something makes you feel uneasy. Controlling, means trying to dictate what someone does (in ever aspect). Those are two VERY different things and you might to explain that to her.
I have a few other things to add.
1) I've read everyone's answers and your comments to them. You mentioned your girlfriend likes to twist things up to make her seem right and you seem wrong. I have a grandma who likes to twist people words, if for no other reason to start trouble within the family. So, I sympathize for you there. I get how annoying that can be.
2) I saw you said your girlfriend cheated on you when you first got together? I can understand why you wouldn't want her hanging out with some random guy she barely knows. And, though it's not good to throw the past back in peoples faces, did you happened to bring the fact up that she did cheat in the past and so you have every right to feel uncomfortable? Because, you're completely allowed to feel that way.
3) You gave up storm chasing for her because it made her "uncomfortable" but she's telling you your controlling because something she was going to do made you uncomfortable, does she even get how unfair that is? I'm a big believer in what's good for the goose is good for the gander. So, if you had to give something up for her comfort, she should be willing to do the same for you.
My advice, not to be rude but she's seems quite manipulative and is blaming you for her lack of a social life. Which, is her fault not yours. Now, she's threatening to break up with you and accusing you of being controlling, that's not a good thing. I know you may love her and I'm not sure what kind of guy you are but if you're a decent guy you'd deserve better that how she treats you. If I were you, I would think long and hard about this relationship and ask yourself if you really want to put up with her immature ways for the rest of your life. If your answer ends up being "no", then you need to break up with her. It may even turn out be the best thing for you both. Good luck.0
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Most Helpful Guy
Quite simply, you're with the wrong lady. This is not going to get better. Call it a day and find someone new. She's provoking you because deep down, she's finished with this relationship. She wants you to admit you're controlling so she has an excuse to dump YOU! She's playing a similar game to, "Let you and him fight". She sets boyfriend against guy friend and while you're fighting, she walks off with a third guy. Beat her at her own game and bring down the curtain!0
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