Boyfriend keeps bringing up the past fights because he wants to laugh about them, but we don't laugh - we fight about it more. How do I stop it?

In particular, he keeps bringing up the fight we had after he kept smiling at another woman and she kept smiling back at him.

After that fight, I never nagged him or gotten mad at him for staring at anything else.

Now, several months later, he brought up twice and we've fought twice. He said he wants to be able to laugh about past squabbles and wants to know that this is okay. He said he wants to feel accepted and know that he what he did was okay. He wants to feel like he's good boyfriend.

I don't think staring at other women and smiling at them to flirt with them is okay, but I stayed with him and stopped getting mad at him when he stares because I trust him. I just don't think the way he keeps re-hashing it is not funny, and we keep fighting (he told me fuck you in public) when keeps bringing this up.

The other times have been really fun and loving. How do I get him to stop bringing up this particular topic?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Bizarre that it's a guy doing this to a girl - usually it's a girl who brings up previous fights and holds them over the guy as a cheap and nasty tactic.

    I'd tell him that the past should start staying there or else you'll be in his past too. Fighting and swearing at each other in public is not cool.


Most Helpful Girl

  • tell it bothers you.. accept how I am or leave...


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What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe your boyfriend enjoys the thrill of the argument, or likes seeing you angry. I cannot lie I've been guilty of this before in past relationships and it is... perplexing. Some people see arguments as a chance to gain ground , understand one another more deeply, strengthen bonds, and test love. Others see arguments of the bane of relationships, hurtful , pointless, and avoid them like the plague.

    I don't know if this helps but maybe next time he tries to bait an argument you can go complete cold 100% unreceptive and he will understand it is grounds not to tread. Hope that helps and I hope he eases up good luck


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