I see a guy. "Wow! He looks so neat. I must get to know him!" --introduce self to guy or somehow get him to talk to me with obvious signs--- he talks to me. We get along & I genuinely do like the guy... He's interesting, cool, smart. Yet, I feel emptiness with each encounter. Like here I am again. And when we are together, I feel concealed, reticent... Half in an act because of some sort of internal fear I have. Then after we spend time together, I go home feeling empty and sad... Like I'll never find someone I can truly connect with. It's not connecting with feelings or thoughts, but something deeper I can't explain. I go after guys full swing, and I normally can get any guy since I am smart, witty, and very pretty. But... Why do I always end up feeling so alone? Why do they feel such a great connection when inside I'm pure stone? I get such a thrill of going after guys; it starts so fun. And then I "win" them, and feel like... Well now what.. As I stare back at a face that I can't see a future with because I don't truly feel a connection.
its happened countless times and I just want to give up.