I understand he is a business owner and gets very busy, so do I just sit and chill or what?

Been dating a guy for about a month. we have know each other longer...things were going great. The last date was Saturday night and we made plans for this Tuesday or Wednesday. I went to confirm which night as we were having dinner at my house and I had to prepare, and he said he was fighting a cold. Told him to let me know when he wanted to reschedule, and he said "will do". We chatted the next day via text...then I told him to call me sometime. He said that he would some day this week. I asked if he wanted to go to see a play this weekend, he said he would be out of town...(he owns his own business so I understand). So I said OK. I sent him a text yesterday to just say I was confused. and also to ask how his day went...like normal. No response to the texts, but later that evening he forwarded me an email, so he must still be thinking of me a bit. I think we need to talk, so I asked if we could talk. He has yet to turn his phone on and respond to my text, but that doesn't mean he is ignoring that one particular text.

What do I do? I understand he is a business owner and gets very busy, so do I just sit and chill or what?


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  • You have done more than enough of trying to keep things rolling with this guy. I can say he sounds like someone whose interest has cooled but the only way you will know for sure is give him the time and space to ask you out next.

    As women we are so programmed to be the ones to nurture and promote relationships but that can be a real problem in some ways when we don't give the guy a chance to go at his own pace and do some of this himself. If we really sit back and think about it, if a guy can run a business he can certainly figure out how to date us. For instance, I would not have told him to let me know when he wanted to reschedule. An interested guy will reschedule. Same with telling him to call me sometime. He's smart, if he wants to call you he will. When you keep pushing for the next contact, call, or date, he is reading loud and clear that you are insecure about how he feels about you and he will actually retract from you rather than come towards you.

    I think he has just been moving slower than you are hoping for and maybe he really is not as interested in you as you are in him. You do need to just sit and chill for now. Do not go down the path of "We need to talk". For guys that can be a real warning sign. It doesn't mean you cannot express to him that this is not working for you, but instead of prompting them to call us, reschedule dates and "talking", let it go and if they, on their own, are not giving you what you are looking for, tell them that, nicely and see what they say. Don't expect some in-depth explanation from them. Look towards their actions. If they continue to show lukewarm interest that isn't meeting your needs you need to move on. Don't waste time trying to get them to show more interest than they really have. Even busy business owners can step up if they are truly feeling it. Not saying he doesn't like you, but "like" isn't enough for a guy to date in earnest.

  • I think you need to need to step back now and let him reach out to you. I don't think you want to overwhelm him with too much communication. I am sure he received your texts and he is aware that you are interested in how is he doing, future get together plans etc. He might just be busy right now so I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. I think it's always a good idea to show a guy that you don't wait by the phone for him. Show him that you have a life and are busy too. I am not suggesting that you play hard to get but have an identity independent of dating.

    Good luck.

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