My boyfriend and I are both juniors in college and yesterday was our 1 year anniversary. Last night I went to the store and bought some stuff, I made him one of those exploding box thing where it has pictures of us, memories etc. I also got him a $40 gift card at his favorite restaurant. So I told him that we would go out at 10am. I woke up early and got ready and stuff, he was still asleep. After I was done getting ready (11am) I called him and he was barely waking up. (kind of upset about that too). ANYWAY, i'm kind of sad that he did not get me anything, not even flowers. He would always give me flowers or a flower like unexpectedly, I just don't know why he didn't last night esp that it was our anniversary. When I told him about it he said he felt bad so we went to go get me flowers, and when i said no, its okay (i said no because i felt like i was forcing him to buy some and it wouldn't really mean anything if i forced him to get it), and then he was like "no it's okay it doesn't cost that much" and i was just thinking well if you didn't have a problem buying it now how come you didn't this morning? I dunno maybe I'm just overreacting?
Please help :(
Most Helpful Guy
You are definitely overreacting in a typical girly way. You are putting a lot of significance into insignificant things. Like those girls who celebrate odd things like 3 weeks or six months of being together. Why is 1 year together worthy of buying stuff? You could just mention it and do something together. Why put pressure on yourselves and your couple.0
Most Helpful Girl
You mention that you said no to him purchasing flowers because you felt like you were forcing him to buy some and it wouldn't mean anything if you had to force him. Maybe he feels like you're forcing the whole issue, and that it wouldn't really mean anything if you were forcing him to do it.
I think the imbalance of significance through gestures was the main issue here. In his mind, he probably thinks that the fact that he stuck it out for one year and is still with you is significance enough and doesn't feel that giving flowers or something would make a difference in that regard. Unless you clearly stated days prior to your anniversary that you were expecting something, he probably didn't give it a second thought (not everyone is into romantic gestures and only do them if prompted or reminded). He may have also felt pressured to reciprocate because of all the effort you went through, and that may have prompted his offer to purchase flowers. Not because he genuinely wanted to, but because he felt he had to.
I understand feeling that your actions were not met in kind, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. Pushing the issue certainly wouldn't help, either. Then you may start receiving things begrudgingly, because no one likes feeling obligated to "perform."0