Is he interested in me or sex with me?

I met this guy on Tinder and we've been on two dates so far. The first he invited me to coffee, we hung out for over 2 hrs (it was late), and totally clicked. Never a dull moment and we had lots in common. He ended the night with a kiss on the cheek and a "I think we should do it again." He told me to text him when I got home, which I did and he said he's really looking forward to seeing me again soon. A day goes by and he texts me asking what my weekend plans are, and that he was hoping to see me one of these days. I asked what he had in mind and he said "I don't know haha I was just thinking about it hahahaha". I ended up saying I was available Saturday evening if he wanted to do anything.. he said sure but was very indecisive about what to do/where to do. We ended up going to this Mexican bar, which happened to be right around the corner from his place, and drank a couple margaritas over fun conversation. He, again, paid for everything. We decided to walk to another bar/club and while we were waiting in line, he took me by surprise and kissed me... which turned into a little mack sesh amongst a bunch of people lol We didn't want to wait in line, so we walked around some more. He proposed going back to his place for drinks and just to chill, I think mentioning his roommates were home (not sure)? I politely declined because I knew that was risky for the second date. He was cool about it and we went to another bar, making out along the way. It was around 12 and he wanted food, so we stopped somewhere, walked to his place, and I said I can't go up there- as he was saying nothing will happen, it's up to you how you spend the night etc. When I said no, he said "Ok, I'll walk you to your car." and we chatted, running into his roommate along the way. Ended the night with a kiss and he texted me next day asking how I was, but was not conversational beyond that... What's he thinking? We've talked about family and he enjoys deeper convos over random club hookups etc...
Also I should mention, he's never texted me late in the evening to meet up immediately, he's always the one to initiate, remembers things I've said in conversation and asks about my interviews and such. Conversation has never been sexual/suggestive, and we're both talking about future activities we can potentially do together. He's a complete gentleman, guiding me at the small of my back, we held hands walking, lets me walk first, etc.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He seems like he's ok... I guess.

    As long as you say to him... "No sex now!" when you enter his house, things SHOULD be fine. If he says "why not?" or something to that extent, then that's when you leave.

    You seem to doing just fine anyways.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think he's only after sex otherwise odds are that he would have pressured you more. But then again, you met on tinder so... it's hard to be sure.


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What Guys Said 1

  • He may be interested in you AND sex.

    • certainly that's the ideal situation! I'm just afraid that if we get intimate he'll ghost.. I'm not exactly looking for a serious relationship, but I do want to stick with the same partner for awhile..

    • Show All
    • You can usually avoid that situation by not jumping into bed with a guy by the third date. If he is a sleep around guy, he's not going to date you for 3-4 months with no sex; he'll move on before it gets that far. I also respect a woman who tells me, on the 3rd or 4th date, that she is not promiscuous nor is she is prude but she is definitely not a hookup. That let's me know where I stand. My current girlfriend did that and I waited for 3-4 months of fairly intense dating before we got physical. At least I knew that it was a prize worth waiting for!

    • I like that! Not promiscuous nor a prude, definitely not a hookup/one-night-stand. Does the third date warrant a conversation of "what are you looking for"?

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