Is it normal to go through phases when it comes to your SO?

We have been together nearly five years now and I always go through these phases at certain times of our relationship. There are a couple months of me wanting him there all the time and then it'll switch to weeks on end of me not wanting to be around him at all because everything he does starts pissing me off and I just want to be alone. He also goes through phases. When I want to be around him all the time, its during his very lovey stage. He will help me in anyway he can and we will cook together every night and watch football together or play some cards together and everything we do is for one another. But then he switches and will stop doing anything at all and he will end up sleeping ALL THE TIME and have zero ambition when it comes to literally anything and its during this stage of his that I have zero desire to be around him. His laziness just pisses me the hell off. I will come home from work and the house will be totaled Luke he had a party while I was gone or something. His soda cans everywhere, dishes everywhere, his clothes left wherever he feels like taking them off, etc. It makes me feel like I have a child on my hands.
These phases that both of us go through, is it normal given the length of time we have been together? This is my longest relationship so I never really had time to go through any phase like this with my ex who only lasted a year and a half. But my ex never lacked ambition or motivation either and I think this is the main reason why I get so ticked off with my boyfriend. It just seems like he does legit nothing at all for weeks, sometimes months on end before we get back into our normal routine.


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  • I think most couples go through similar phases. When one is hot and all lovey-dovey, the other will be a bit more distant or occupied with other things like work/school. A little bit in that phase, maybe a few weeks, then they'll switch positions.

    I don't think you two having been together for 5 years already will change whether or not you have phases. People will always be like that, with more dynamic emotions towards each other, changing and kind of adapting to hte other. Hence why both of you don't just stay in the lovey-dovey stage through the year.


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