Why would he encourage me to date and then act this way?

I've been talking with an acquaintance online for a year now and we have developed a flirty relationship and he's said that he is interested in me BUT is overwhelmed with depression, social anxiety and fears of commitment from past relationships. I tried waiting around for him but after a while said that if he didn't want to try to see where things went that I was moving on. He said he was still interested but that because of his issues, anyone who would wait around for him would be crazy... And then he said he wants me to be happy and thinks that I should give this guy who's been hitting on me a chance instead of just being disappointed by him. I showed that I was reluctant but I have the other guy a chance and we have now gone on 4 dates. I thought my friend would be okay with it since he encouraged me to explore my options, yet now he is talking to me way less and being brief or bringing up this guy in a sarcastic/rude joking way. What does this mean?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's just having emotional imbalance suffered from low self esteem. What you can control now is your thinking, actions, you can't do for him in this part.


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What Girls Said 1

  • If you don't know this guy in person and he's just someone you've been talking to online then I would think you're being catfished. Leave him on and go find real happiness not this controlling mind game. Sometimes you just have to let people go

    • I know him from real life but he lives an hour away. When we met I was in a LTR, and he started talking with me on a much more regular basis once that ended. It's been a year of flirting, nicknames, etc and still no progress. I was coping with coming out of a four year relationship so the lack of a commitment was ideal for a while, but now I'm ready for something new, and I had been hoping it was him... He knows this, said that he does want to be with me, but ultimately encouraged me that I deserve better than him because he's so "emotionally damaged." Yet, he now Is acting cold since I've been going on dates. It does feel a little like a mind game... Thanks.

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