So fast forward 25 years. After a divorce I didn't want I find myself dating for basically the first time in my life. I tried to date too soon and it really didn't work out. but I learned a lot and have really slowed down. I just ended an 8 month relationship. We broke up at the 3 month period for a week. She didn't like that I wanted more from her. So I moved ahead at that point and had set a date with someone that I had seen previously. We never really broke up, we just drifted apart. But the woman I had been with almost made it seem like it is normal to break up during a fight and just get back together. I explained that I won't break up with someone unless I know 100% that there is no way I would spend the rest of my life with them. Once I know that, there is no point going forward. I have gone to a therapist probably a total of 10 years over the last 24. So I understand most of the reasons behind certain behavior. I also go over things over and over, backward and forward, inside out and every which way 1000's of times before I make that kind of decision. So for me, there is never a reason to go back with someone.
Comments by a few of the women I dated make me think that many people do that. They break up instead of talking things through, then figure they will get back together when the work it out. Seems to me this is such a huge red flag, that alone would make me not want to get back together with them. Seems to me those types are the ones most likely to want a divorce without trying to work things out.
But maybe this is a lot more common then I think. ?
I would never operate this way but was interested if a lot of people really do break up and get back together multiple times with the same person.