Is it even worth it anymore?

I'm 18, a college freshman and I've never had a girlfriend and I've never had a first kiss and still am a virgin. I never had many female friends prior to college, since my high school was very cliqued off. In Middle School, girls just ignored me. In high school, Girls were nice to me but stayed in their own cliques and did not even want to be friends. I had numerous crushes, but never even hung out with them as friends, since they were too cliquey. They studied and socialized, which would have been perfect for a man like me. I even went to prom without a date. College was a huge step up. Girls smile at me, hug me, and invite me to their hangouts. I made many female friends and have went on dates with girls. But these dates were spontaneous (I saw them sitting down at the dining halls and joined them). I asked girls out but was rejected. I have always been an acquaintance or a friend, and not someone they would date or have sex with. My high school friends say that I am the most likely to get a girlfriend due to living on campus, being VERY social, and going to a college where women outnumber men by a LOT.

It is not easy for me to date in college, since everyone's hours are different and people are busy. Most of the girls I am attracted to are studious girls who study hard and socialize/party/excercise hard. Gamers are a bonus. Most of these girls are Asian, and most Asian girls either date Asian guys or White/European guys.

It is my 10th week of college and some of my roommates have slept with a few girls. I have not slept with any.

I feel that being Indian is really hindering me. Being depressed and having low grades and strict Indian parents are not helping either. I feel that I am missing the easiest years of my life for a relationship.

I do flirt (weakly), but am nervous about stepping up, as Indian men have bad reputations for being too forward and creepy

Our campus is really diverse, so race should not matter
sounds like Indians ONLY get laid if they are REALLY good looking or if they have a LOT of money


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are young then you still have time to change your mind, that is if you don't fear rejection or the pain and suffering that will come with rejection or even the possibilities of separation. Once you are in your 40s and 50s it gets much harder and is really probably the stage in a man's life where either he turns around being still single or fails to, depending on what they really want out of their life and future.

    Otherwise, just give up entirely. Still gonna have some lingering unhappiness even if you do, it's ultimately up to you to decide.

    I pretty much don't think it's worth it for myself since I do not want children or family of my own and it is something I cannot and will not change my mind on.


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What Guys Said 4

  • You're gonna just have to persist and break this mental barrier with pursuing women, or nothing will change!

    Unfortunately there is no shortcut for this process. Every guy has had to do this, but overcame this issue by middle or high school.

    • not easy if your are Indian.

    • *shrugs* Get it done or die a virgin! Your predicament every man has been through at one point in his life, you're gonna just have to stop bitching and approach women in massive numbers. This is how your technique and style will be perfected.

  • Watch how other mwn your age act and be just as aggressive as, but not more than, they are.

  • Don't be such a baby.

    Your time will come.

  • Being Indian is holding you back because most girls don't like Indian guys. Indian guys have terrible reputations because so many of them are taught to view women are subservient to men. Indian men have a reputation in Western societies as being arrogant woman abusers, so there's no reason for them to take a chance that you're not like this when there are so many guys of other ethnicities around to date. Indian guys need to stop being such condescending, smarmy d-bags and start acting somewhat human if y'all hope to ever have a shot with white girls.


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