Am I overreacting to his behavior?

I've been on 2 dates with this guy and we're scheduled for a 3rd date this week. In person and over the phone he'll say things like "you're so great, why are you single?" Or "I will always make time for you" or "I'd really love to hear from you more". He even mentioned at one point that I'm the only girl he's dating.

However, he sends mixed signals every once in a while. For instance, I asked him Monday morning "when are we meeting for dinner this week?" He told me "I'll let you know later today. Can't wait to see you." It is now 10pm and he hasn't said anything. This is the kind of thing I'm talking about. He says one thing, but his actions tell me otherwise.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • When two things are contradicting themselves, the one that is easier is usually the one that is fake. Actions take much more effort over time than words, and so actions are generally a much stronger indication of true motivation than words are.

    If he is saying "I will always make time for you", but he is doing "I'll get back to you when it's convenient for me", you can be sure that the "always make time for you" is a lie, because it sounds good, it furthers his own agenda, and it is easy to do.

    Noticing discrepancies between word and action is not an overreaction, it is an intelligent observation. A lot of guys use words to obfuscate their actions - they say how important a girl is to them simply because they want the effects that those words are known to have, not because they actually FEEL those words.

    Maybe he likes you, maybe he doesn't, but it is obvious that he is just feeding you lines. I think you are right to be somewhat concerned. Those are flags that he is hoisting up the flagpole.

    • Thank you. He ended up reaching out this morning asking me out for Friday or Saturday. I haven't responded yet. It really irked me that he couldn't respond yesterday, like he said he would.

      I'll probably just lightly bring it up this weekend when I see him. Thanks again for your comments.

    • You're welcome. Good luck. I think you would be wise to pay attention to what he says vs what he does, as there are clearly warning signs here. And bringing it up directly (albeit gently) is probably a good idea, as without solid, open communication any relationship is dead in the water.

      I suppose the advice would be to be hopeful but cautious.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay, I'm not a genius about guys but is anyone they don't even understand themselves but, I'd play a little hard to get like go on dates with him, and be fun and playful when you're out, but when you guys are away act like you don't care so he'll think he doesn't have you so he'll try and try to get you and want more and more, that's probably what he's doing to you, telling you what you want to hear but leaving you at the edge so you'll want more. He probably just doesn't want you thinking you have him tied down or whatever. Hope this helped a bit.


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What Girls Said 1

  • If he isn't acting in accordance with his words, then decide if you can put up with that or even trust him. I wouldn't wait around to see him start breaking promises.


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