I'm not talking about the first ever text, because that's usually the guy as he usually asks for the girl's number.
But all the subsequent texts - is the guy supposed to be the one to initiate? Or the girl? Yes I know anyone can, but what's the norm/stereotype?
- GuysVote A
- GirlsVote B
Most Helpful Guy
Gotta switch it up. If I'm always the one texting first, after 1 week I stop texting. I don't know how many times I've stopped talking to a girl because she never texted first. It seems like she's not interested in talking, and I'm not crawling for anyone, so bye bye.
I bet girls will think the same of a guy that never texts first.7
Most Helpful Girl
norm and stereotype and should are not the same thing. norm is meaningless bc it doesn't represent everyone or your situation. stereotypes are based prejudiced bias. and ';should' only exits to put limitations on peoples natural inclinations. there's on such thing as should , other than respect.
do what feels right to you so you can be an authentic person. instead of an automaton chasing arbitrary rules that dont represent any real purpose beyond control.
as for me, i prefer to initiate bc if im doing it i know my intentions, if someone else does it the intentions are unclear bc they are theirs not mine, and im not in their heads.
now hypothetically speaking, in my opinion if there was a 'should' id say women should initiate. bc it is more direct honest and safer.
Disambiguation. Women initiating, would create less confusion , more clarity all around. men operate as if women need to be lied to to have sex. so often when a guy only wants sex or casual dating,. He will initiate aiming for sex but , dress it up as liking you or wanting a relationship. it wastes everyones time no one gets what they want and its hurtful. when women want sex they are more direct about it. they dont pretend to want more.
Safety. Women should initiate -if were going with should- bc they are 99% l;less likely to rape a gut. its safer to be the one arranging things instead of leaving it to someone who can work on coming across as trustworthy. much harder for a guy to targets a woman, if she's the one imitating. he's put into a position of reacting and receptiveness, as apposed to cunning and calculation.
I do not say this bc of what i believe to be human nature, but rather socially condoned behavior. if guys stopped lying manipulating wasting time and raping or being violent, and being tight that its OK, then it really wouldn't matter who initiates.
in any case, i think whoever wants should initiate but everyone should be careful discerning not gullible or naive or presumptuous. keep it real, take it one step at a time. focus on behavior and integrity not words signs and cliches. to form judgment.