My boyfriend and I have lack of things to say while communicating, and I don't know how to solve this problem, what to do?

I have been dating my boyfriend for about 1 month plus. However, I find that we have nothing to talk to each other about. Most of the time I have been coming up with open-ended questions, and most of the time we always ask each other daily questions such as "what r u doing?" "have u eaten" etc. I have a feeling that the reason why we have nothing to say is because our lifestyles are too different. We don't call each other through phones (usually communicate through whatsapp and meet-ups), and some of our friends said it's weird, so I decided to call him (twice), and usually we ended up in silence. This was the same thing that happened to me and my ex. I'm afraid of losing my current boy now :(

How am I suppose to overcome this obstacle?

PS: I did discuss this to him, but still we didn't come up with any solutions. I feel so helpless. Can you help me? ^^


Most Helpful Guy

  • You could talk about music, TV, politics, sex, friends, movies, travel, school, work, family, problems, dreams, sex, hopes, fears, ambitions, desires, children, animals, games, sports, concerts, art, etc.

    And sex. There's never a shortage of things to talk about. :)

    • HAHA, I did try to initiate "pervy" talks to him, but usually his reply was "Lol, okay..." or "Lol" i don't know whether is he uncomfortable to talk about it or not interested or other factors. However last time he'll carry on with the pervy talks when i initiated it (or he initiated it).

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    • Hopefully over time you can get him to open up a bit. But be mindful of how you describe discussions of intimacy and romantic loving. I know you're probably joking, but if you really were to characterize these topics as "sick" and "pervy," that would color not only the discussion, but how you approach and experience the behaviors and actions themselves in real life. You're reaching an age now where having a successful, fulfilling relationship will not just benefit from, but will actually require, real, genuine discussions of sex with your chosen partner. Good luck.

    • Thanks!

Most Helpful Girl

  • You can actually talk about anything. Anything.
    Ask him his opinion on various subjects. They are never-ending.
    How long have you guys been together?


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What Guys Said 4

  • maybe a movie that you both like? or hobbies, there has to be something you both have in common. like if he likes a certain thing (i. e games) try some games yourself or if you like certain thing (shopping) im sure if the guy likes you he go with you and hang out.

    Instead of talking about "what r u doing?" "have u eaten. you should start with Have you heard of etc, Oh something had happened etc, I just started watching a series called etc want to watch it with me?

    • We did go out for a movie, it was really nice! Did have a talk about it for a while. What we have in common is that we're both in pharmaceutical courses (he graduated already, I'm still studying that course), and we play DOTA together. These are the 2 major interest we have in common. The rest I'm not so sure. I used to be a fan of kpop, i do watch animes but i'm not into it (rarely watches). He's a fan of SNSD and he do watch quite a lot of animes, but not really an anime fan.

      i did discuss with him that we really lack of common interests, and i suggested that we take some new hobbies. But he's working and I'm studying, plus i have restrictions from my parents, therefore our schedule doesn't really match. We usually meet like once per 2-3 weeks, is it too little?

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    • He told me he wants a serious rs. But do u think he would rather prefer to talk to me about these issues when i meet him face to face, since he's pretty bad at words? He told me it's hard to communicate through whatsapp and phone.

    • possibly, i think he jsut want to be more with you face to face but remember studies are important.

  • At what point did he become your boyfriend? And why did you make the decision to get into a relationship with each other if you have nothing to talk about? Sounds really boring and unfulfilling. Aren't there guys you have more to talk about with?

    • I'm not very good at conversing with guys. Most of them will feel awkward around me

  • That comes from a lack of common interest/ nothing exciting happening I'd take him to a movie or a sports game you talk about the game before and say how awesome or shitty your team was after if you do dinner and a movie watch the movie first so you can talk about it at dinner

    • But i'm quite troubled when he doesn't reply me, like for a few hours. I have the urge to initiate a new topic but it's holding me back. Should I initiate or continue to hold back till he replies me? And he doesn't have a habit of saying goodnight and good morning. I used to do that, since he doesn't do that I stopped doing that as well. And i feel weird when i'm the one sending kissing emojis to him and he doesn't send back, so i stopped doing that as well. is it alright though?

  • Just talk about random fun shit. If your desperate try stupid YouTube videos

    • I did send him funny 9gag or other pics before but he never responded to it, so I don't know. youtube videos likewise, but i rarely send videos

    • I mean speak about it to joke around with it the point is to have fun conversations

    • OK, I'll give it a try :)

What Girls Said 1

  • find something you both like!

    • I hardly find anything he likes. For example he watch a lot of anime but he's not a fan of it. But most of the time we've have things uncommon. Like he likes dogs but I like cats. I've been thinking of creating new hobbies with him to see whether we both like it or not, but he's worried about me because he doesn't want to affect my studies (hobbies may take up time)

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    • we don't watch TV HAHAHA that's one common thing between us XD

    • ohhh wow well than u might want to reconsider this relationship!

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