Why should we commit to men as women if they are all perverts and can't keep their eyes to their own women and flirt with other women?

Question

Why should we commit to men as women if they are all perverts and can't keep their eyes to their own women and flirt with other women?

norahdavex

4 Xper

Dating

I KNOW HOW MEN GET BORED WHEN IN A RELATIONSHIP AND LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN WHY SHOULD WE COMMIT THEN?

1732

32

17

Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 31

SeanFromRSA

Really though... You want to compare the wandering eyes of men to the pandering everything of women?

Ballsy for sure, but not necessarily informed

Men are visual beings, we process thought in terms of visuals/pictures. Women are more thoughtful, more considered and entirely more deliberate... When a women cheats on her man, that shit is over like immediately, because we know you didn't just act or even react... It was planned

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- norahdavex
  
  Isn't that double standards... what's worse? Having a guy idolize other women's bodies like yours is a disgusting piece of *** excuse my french or having a woman talk to other men
  
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- SeanFromRSA
  
  I hear what you're saying and both have their serious drawbacks...
  
  I agree that a man idolising the female body and constantly "checking out" other women, especially when he's with his partner is unacceptable and there can be no valid excuse if this is the case.
  
  Although it is only fair to bare in mind that there are myriad reasons to look at another human being and even if the "looker" himself were to disclose fully and explain exactly what specifically they're actually looking at an in what exact context they're doing so, it is almost impossible to convey a persons inner most feelings and motivations, even to someone that has a deep and intimate knowledge and appreciation for them.
  
  You should take into account that men would far more often than not, prefer to look like a misogynist, sex driven, chauvinist pig which is fairly typical and he can still save face in front of other men, than to openly and honestly talk about the regret and deep personal resentment he feels every day.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  is that true? is that why men always look at me at the gym and most of the time drive me to want to kill myself because no matter what i wear i seem to attract the eyes of men while i see other women wearing much more provocative shit not even being stared at.. its really irritating
  
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- SeanFromRSA
  
  I can't speak for others, I only have my own personal perspective and as such I can only see the world accordingly.
  
  It does seem though that you're an attractive 20 something year old young lady and it's only reasonable to expect that the opposite, balancing side will "check you out". This is not fundamentally insulting on the face of it and is quite a natural part of life. You should bare in mind that most men, no matter how awkwardly they may come across, are genuinely looking for the future mother of their children and the woman that will be their partner in life, not least of which to raise the aforementioned children into responsible, respectable, contributing members of society.
  
  Yes men can be, and often are, vulgar to the point of distaste, this is pretty much because the brain in our "little guy" down stairs, if often more awake than the brain up stairs. This is also not intended as an insult and as unappealing as it materialises to be, it is ultimately meant as complimentary
  
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- norahdavex
  
  I know it is meant to be a compliment but I seriously get offended when men pay attention to me. I get the sense they are saying I am not worth enough to left to my own devices to accomplish my career and learning goals. I feel they are sending me the message I am just good to be stared at but nothing else.
  
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- SeanFromRSA
  
  I must be honest, I'm actually kind of glad you brought this angle up...
  
  It's a contentious issue these days and one that's particularly difficult to justify reasonably, especially to a woman that a man finds attractive and wants to get to know.
  
  Men look at women because they're beautiful, yes... Thoughts of sex do indeed come up, why wouldn't they? Yes men do tend to fixate a little from time to time on specific things, take boobs as a prime example. But the fact is, we just like you, it's as simple as that.
  
  Thinking that we are of the opinion that all you're good for is to look at and perv over is a misunderstanding. Think of it like this...
  
  When a polite man opens a door for a lady it doesn't, by any stretch of the wildest imagination, suggest that the man thinks that the lady is incapable of opening the door for herself, rather that the man values the woman and knows exactly how important she is and would like to do something nice for her, a simple gesture in this case...
  
  Reply
Tdieseler

First off... no one asked you to commit... you (women) WANT to commit. Thats your nature, and ours is to spread "seed" wherever we can.
A man staying committed in a situation where there are options is like someone fighting against nature. Its extremely hard to win, but we try anyway and you women don't make it easy either.

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- norahdavex
  
  well it if its nature then why do men eventually commit? my question is why do we have to try so hard to make men commit to us. Why can't we be just like fuck it but then that would upset our mothers , society and we would just end up being lonely especially after our 30s because we cannot attract any man anymore and we are not married. At least if we are married we know this guy will stick around but if we are single way past 30 then its kind of too late especially if men are just attracted to hot women and would rather invest time in hot women than average women like me whos idea of a good time is a good run and intense workouts.
  
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- Tdieseler
  
  Why commit? BECAUSE of women. Also, because of civilization. (and my own conspiracy theory, population control). Remember roman times? that shit didn't matter.
  Its not that men can't commit, its that women still try to force more even though we fight an already intense battle with our nature. You just said it yourself "why do we have to try so hard to MAKE men commit.." to MAKE what? we are doing the making Already... just play your part.
  Why don't you fight your committing nature and just become completely flamboyant and see how that makes you feel in the end... horrible, right? Thats what we feel when we have to fight our nature to be committed and we look to this person that we are going against our nature for, we look to them for strength and happiness and usually get a needy, naggy, selfish AND greedy complainant that just doesn't understand what is going on because all they want is what they want. Guys have the commitment handled.. most women make it hard to stay that way.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  I guess I see your point but when you show that side of you we think twice about whether its nice of us to really stay with you guys and force you against your nature.
  
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- Tdieseler
  
  wow.. for once on GaG i was actually agreed with? lol...
  Water is natural... but have you ever tried cupping some with your hands and not a single drop leaked out. Its bound to show at some point... I said in my previous comment "we look to them for strength and happiness and usually get..." When it leaks like that, rather than nag him, try understanding...
  Men will look and flirt... but you know something... any man who does that and then comes back to you has done amazingly. but instead of many women accepting that she got her man back and his nature didn't take over, they complain instead, and he starts thinking about WHY he even came back to you when his "flirting" was going in a much better way. and then you push him away without knowing it and next thing you know, we start hearing cheating stories.
  Guys are simple... they all want to make their women happy... buy women Insist on making that harder than it should be.
  
  Reply
- takumii
  
  "wow.. for once on GaG i was actually agreed with? lol..."
  LMAO
  
  Although , a better logic to why men commit in the end is losing the charm due to ageing , fear of not having anyone familiar in the old age.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  @takumii what about women that think they are invincible
  
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- takumii
  
  I don't know what you mean by invincible strictly in this context.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  @takumii they think they can just get away with hiding things behind our backs
  
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- Tdieseler
  
  wait, the women are the invincible ones?
  
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- norahdavex
  
  no I meant men.. nothing ever daunts them
  
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- Tdieseler
  
  lol... you are funny, you actually managed to make me giggle... seriously? you think so?
  
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- norahdavex
  
  yeah.. they are very very extremely terrible to me
  
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- Tdieseler
  
  Men... are "Men" for a reason. because if we weren't, Women would have nothing to lean on. We just like doing stupid shit.. and women are out blockers. it all equals to..."commitment".
  
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- norahdavex
  
  i feel that men aren't to be leaned on but to run away from
  
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- Tdieseler
  
  we feel the same way too darling. Sadly... we need each other... guys think women are stupid, women think guys are stupid (which is true... said so earlier) but in the end... we both complement each other... nature is the true culprit here.
  
  Reply
Eric644

well, you need to stop dating jerks and actually give the nice guys a chance, its time you start doing so, so you won't end up being 30 and still single. Don't generalize all men just because you pick the wrong men. It's time you stop falling for the bad boy and start looking at a guy that can offer you something. The guy is wrong for actively flirting with other girls but i dont see what's wrong with looking im sure you look at other guys. but the flirting does raise a red flag

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- AverageJane
  
  You are very good at advising her, but most women do not ogle at other men for being attractive that's a guy thing.
  
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- Eric644
  
  @AverageJane
  sure they do, its human nature
  
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- AverageJane
  
  Could I ask you a question? Please do not be offended, but I been taught that the most unfaithful guys are poor, minorities, and older men is that true?
  
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- Eric644
  
  @AverageJane
  how would i know? Im nether of those things.
  
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- Eric644
  
  @AverageJane
  but there are rich guys that are unfaithful just as there are poor guys that are. There are whte guys that are unfaithful just like there are black men that are. There are old guys that are unfaithful just like there are young guys that are.
  
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- AverageJane
  
  I am sorry for this comment I made because I know that no one's race/gender/age/social class does not determine an attitude or action. This is what most people have trouble with about generalization. You seem to have the best guy opinion that's posted here.
  
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- Eric644
  
  i think its about giving the nice guy a chance and stop falling for the bad boys period!!! Lets take this example; Bruce is a has been quarterback is over 6 foot, has the bad boy image but cheats on his girlfriends, treats them terribly etc. Tommy is a smart guy, graduated with honors, intellectual probably likely to get a good job, good looking but not a 6footer, he treats women with respect and could make an excellent boyfriend. Unfortunately most women will ignore Tommy and go with Bruce because of certain shallow things like height or the fact that he use to be a football player etc. Unfortunately because of their experiences with men like bruce the will label all men jerks even though they didn't give Tommy a chance. This is terrible and many women will deny it, and the asker will deny it, but this is the truth. Now fortunately for Tommy he will find a quality woman while the women who ignored him will end up like the asker thinking all men are jerks or will end up bitter towards
  
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- Eric644
  
  tommy because now that they are old they want him but Tommy is now with a younger woman, so they will end up cursing Tommy for not being interested in them. circle of life
  
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- Eric644
  
  @AverageJane
  thank you and I didn't take offense, and your apology is accepted
  
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- AverageJane
  
  That's fine! :)
  
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FatherJack

I've had a lot of nightmare experiences with women , yet I still remain OK towards women , pleasant , will still crack my deadpan jokes , but keep a bit of distance... It's not fair to heap hate on those that do not deserve this. It's easy to fall into negative thought patterns , as it is the path of least resistance mentally , work on yourself & try to remain positive , I do appreciate this can be hard , people in general can be testing to deal with.

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- norahdavex
  
  Its very hard to deal with a man who has a wandering eye and is on the internet actively flirting with women.
  
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bluenose1872

You take the rough with the smooth. Men see stacks of faults in all women as well but we've got an understanding that no one is perfect. There's no right and wrong in life just the proper perspective. Nature gave men a sex drive to keep the species going. It's your job to keep your man looking only at you.

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- norahdavex
  
  How though? He's impossible. Nothing gets him going except wild women on strange sex websites
  
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- bluenose1872
  
  You might have the wrong man. Why do you think people sleep around. We're like pool balls looking for the proper pocket. It's narrow minded to think everybody can be shaped to your specifications. Everybody and I mean everybody is different. Why don't women get that? It's seems like a very arrogant point of view to me. It's more like trying every ride out in the fare until you find the one you like. You don't go to the manager and demand he rebuilds the first ride you get on until you enjoy it do you? That's life. You can't reshape a man. He is who he is. Like him or leave him
  
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- norahdavex
  
  yeah but if he tells me he loves me and stay with him despite his roving eyes what should i do just tell him I cant?
  
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- bluenose1872
  
  Honey it's your life. Do whatever you want. You can date who you want. Make love to whomever you want. Your guts are your subconscious telling you something. If you get a bad feeling its just that telling your concious mind you need to pay attention to something important. Don't make a template of a perfect life then try and live up to it. That's insanity. You'll always fall short of your own mark. Then you'll feel worthless and depressed every moment your alive. Instead congratulate yourself on every little step forward you take in life. They say the unknown is scary but it's also very exiting. I left the country at 15 with 100 quid in my pocket my dad loaned me. No job no destination in mind. Just a pair as big as watermelons and an unshakeable faith in myself. By the next week I had a beautiful girlfriend, a job and a group of pals. You need to do what's right for you. Your the only one that matters in your life
  
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ThePhantom1234

You know and experience this world only through the perceptions that you create. You have the ability to choose how you perceive any event in your life, and you exercise this power of choice in every circumstance, every day of your life. No matter what the situation, you choose your reaction, assigning meaning and value to an event.

We all view the world through individual filters, which influence the interpretations we give events, how we respond, and how we are responded to. Be aware of the factors that influence the way you see the world, so you can compensate for them and react against them. If you continue to view the world through a filter created by past events, then you are allowing your past to control and dictate both your present and your future.

Filters are made up of fixed beliefs, negative ideas that have become entrenched in your thinking. They are dangerous because if you treat them as fact, you will not seek, receive or process new information, which undermines your plans for change. If you "shake up" your belief system by challenging these views and testing their validity, the freshness of your perspective can be startling.

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- ThePhantom1234
  
  You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.
  
  If the people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment. Identify the payoffs you may be giving someone in response to any negative behavior. For example, when people are aggressive, bossy or controlling — and then get their way — you have rewarded them for unacceptable behavior.
  
  Because you are accountable, you can declare the relationship "reopened for negotiation" at any time you choose, and for as long as you choose. Even a pattern of relating that is 30 years old can be redefined. Before you reopen the negotiation, you must commit to do so from a position of strength and power, not fear and self-doubt.
  
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- ThePhantom1234
  
  You cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is. If you don't like your job, you are accountable. If you are overweight, you are accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable. You are creating the situations you are in and the emotions that flow from those situations.
  
  Don't play the role of victim, or use past events to build excuses. It guarantees you no progress, no healing, and no victory. You will never fix a problem by blaming someone else. Whether the cards you've been dealt are good or bad, you're in charge of yourself now
  
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- norahdavex
  
  Sometimes we are victims of circumstances. I believe I am a victim of men.. and sometimes women but mostly men
  
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BroDudeBro

Woman keeps picking shit men and then blames all men for her bad choices? Yep and that's why a lot of men don't take women seriously and treat them like children.

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- Eric644
  
  Absolutely, she wonders why there aren't any nice guys, well there are she just rejectes them and picks the jocky looking assholes. I am not bitter, I myself am a good looking guy that has no problems dating, but I ain't a jerk and I dont understand why many girls like jerks, maybe it's masochistic thing
  
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- BroDudeBro
  
  @Eric644 It's because those men typically are confident, say the right things and do the right things at the right times, they are master manipulators and I don't blame women for falling for them but if a woman continues to make bad choices and then starts blaming all men then well she's being stupid.
  
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- Eric644
  
  Good point
  
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- norahdavex
  
  @Eric644 I wouldn't say my boyfriend is confident he usually says all the terrible things to me
  
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- Eric644
  
  But he was confident in the beginning. You gotta stop going for these narcissistic men and find men that are sincere
  
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Maik567

No one is forcing you to commit to a man. And most decent guys will probably not want a woman who has a reaction like this when he just looks at another woman.

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- norahdavex
  
  Well shouldn't he respect me enough to not want to upset me like this.
  
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- Maik567
  
  Im pretty sure he wasn't trying to upset you, you just got upset on your own.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  I got upset because I do not want my man to go on AFF to check out other women. One it makes me feel that I am not hot in bed and two it makes me really think about ever being that hot again to men in bed like I was when I was younger.
  
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- Maik567
  
  Yeah you probably shouldn't commit to a guy who does something like that. Maybe you just attract or get attracted to the wrong type of guys.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  Are you sure that its possible that men are not actually just into hookers and slutty woman my definition of slutty is someone who intentionally uses her assets to get a guy to sleep with her
  
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- Maik567
  
  It is possible.
  
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alext06

Look, I know it looks like there are only assholes out there, but that's only because you'r surrounded by them. You just have to try a different kind of guy, don't be fooled by his looks, get to know a guy before you invest yourself in a relationship with him, because if you rush into something with the wrong kind of guy, your gonna regret it. But I know there are good guys out there. I know because I'm one. I'm completely disgusted by the idea of cheating, or even flirting with another woman. So they do exist, don't give up on us :P

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- norahdavex
  
  But your young.. its the older men that are mostly perverted.
  
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- AverageJane
  
  That is one reason I do not want to marry because I marry a guy when younger he will be looking at gorgeous young women when he is like in his 50s, or 60s.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  @AverageJane yeah it is to true! I even am trying to consider the benefits of staying with a guy who misrepresented himself in the first dating stages
  
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- AverageJane
  
  Do all old guys stare only at young attractive women? I never had a guy ogling at me even if he is old.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  @AverageJane Thats Strange I get ogled a lot every waking min of my life that i am outside the house
  
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FakeName123

Naturally a guy gets bored if the girl has nothing to offer except for looks.

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- BuchitaBuchys
  
  Why did you get down votes? This is true.
  
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- FakeName123
  
  @BuchitaBuchys
  
  Didn't you know that the truth is mean and bigoted?
  
  Honestly though. OP has chosen a shallow partner which leads me to believe she is similary shallow and thus obviously the guy gets bored of her.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  I'm not shallow I'm the intellectual type not the wild type and men hate my type.
  
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- FakeName123
  
  Sure, sweetie - but you are either pretentious or your choice in guys is so incredibly bad that you come up with the conclusion of this thread.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  What's your definition of pretentious
  
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- norahdavex
  
  I am not pretentious the reason people think I am pretentious is I am very guarded. I have to defend myself how else can women like me make it to the house without being approached by four million men
  
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Alexious

Not all guys are like this. Cut the generalizing. 😂
You're clearly picking the wrong dudes. You'll find a guy who doesn't flirt with other girls, dw.

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- norahdavex
  
  is that even possible? The nice guys are probably hidden somewhere and quiet compared to bad guys
  
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- Alexious
  
  I can't take you seriously when you're being narrow minded. Do you honestly think most guys are bad? Open your eyes. Go to the bar. Chat to some guys.. You might surprise yourself.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  I am not narrow minded all I see is those men that just cheat on their wives and my boyfriend. I had a married man ask me out and older men hit on men when they are married. If I got to a bar Ill get hit on by a married older man. I am not generalizing but I am telling you what I see. I see men that see options and dont want to commit. In fact my own dad and my sisters husband did something very similar My sister's husband cheated on her and my dad left my mom to go live his bachelor life.
  
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- Alexious
  
  It seems you're surrounded by arseholes.
  Just have a little faith. I'm searching for someone, but I'm having little luck.
  
  These men are pigs, but don't let them fool you.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  So you think its possible just because there are many bad guys out there that there are nice ones?
  
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- Alexious
  
  There aren't 'that many', it's just the ones you've come across. You WILL find a guy who will do what's right.
  
  Hell. If I'm honest I'd saying I'm nice. Soon as I find someone I'll get her the padlock and the key.
  
  They hide in plain sight. It could be the guy down the road. Who knows.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  I sure hope there are nice guys mine isn't
  
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- Eric644
  
  stop falling for the bad boys!!! There are a bunch of nice guys that you might have ignored because they weren't bad boy material for you. I suggest you start going for the more sophisticated , intellectual, and ambitious guys or the "good looking nerd"
  
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- plaisirdamour
  
  Bars are the last place where good genuine loyal men are
  
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- norahdavex
  
  @plaisirdamour I agree
  
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- Eric644
  
  @plaisirdamour
  They can be there, you just don't pick them because they are nice and you intentionally go for the guy that is a jerk while you reject the nice guy, just stating the truth
  
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- plaisirdamour
  
  @Eric644 I have only been to a bar once in my life with my friend to try a new drink. You are not stating the truth idiot
  
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- Eric644
  
  @plaisirdamour
  why are you being so hostile? Because I struck a cord, you know what I said is the truth. ANed going to a bar once is not an accurate experience
  
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- Alexious
  
  I go to the bar all the time, there are loads of nice guys there. Depends where you go.
  
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- plaisirdamour
  
  @Eric644 you assumed you knew my lifestyle when I rarely drink. What gives you the right to randomly attack women on this thread? You don't even know me
  
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- Eric644
  
  @plaisirdamour
  my apologies, but many women do blow off the nice guys, you have to admit that. luckily for me im confident compared to other nice guys and im not so bad looking (thats what im told). But you have to admit, nice men are blown off for the cool looking guy that manipulates them
  
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- norahdavex
  
  @Eric644 I do not blow off nice guys. I have tried being nice to nice guys but they I am mocking them by being nice to them
  
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- Eric644
  
  Try letting these nice guys know that you are not being mean to them and that you are interested in them, something good might happen😀
  
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Lonewolf_1296

Why should we commit to women as men if they are all perverts and can't keep their legs closed and spread them for other men?

That's how you sound.

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- norahdavex
  
  lol i think i dont sound like that i think i sound more like why should i commit to a man who is interested in threesomes while i can go be a whore myself
  
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- Lonewolf_1296
  
  Why post the question if you already knew the answer?
  
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- norahdavex
  
  I don't know the answer. I wish I knew why we women should commit to a man.. I wish I knew why it is necessary..
  
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- Lonewolf_1296
  
  Well, you said it your self, "should" not "must". Just don't and be merry, or your definition of merry.
  
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- norahdavex
  
  I agree to that completely I am saying why does society like to frown upon us single women at older age
  
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tyber1

Maybe you shouldn't accuse all men of being bastards when you just have bad taste in men.

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- norahdavex
  
  I do not have a bad taste in men. i have not seen any good men as of yet
  
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- tyber1
  
  Because you have bad taste. I've met plenty of good men. If you can't find good men it's because you're either surrounding yourselves with the bad ones, you have unrealistic expectations or you're ignoring the good ones around you.
  
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- tyber1
  
  I failed out of college in large part to help a friend of mine pass. She was born with autism and developed schizophrenia as a young child. Her parents consisted of a child molester and a narcissist. Her sister tried to murder her and she was raped by her best friend. I saw in her a lot of potential, she was smart and determined. She was going through a rough patch (which says something with that kind of background) and her life was spiraling out of control. As she became more stressed her mental capacities began to degrade and it became harder and harder for her to learn. I stayed with her for hours at a time, at times helping tutor her until the sun rose. And when I wasn't tutoring her I was supporting her as a friend. I made myself the person she could count on whenever she needed help with anything. I failed, she passed barely. But it was enough of a victory that it helped her rebound. She graduated this month.
  
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- tyber1
  
  Her entire life she was told that she wasn't good enough. When she went to college she was told that college wasn't for people like her. I was able to help her prove them wrong and I'll be honest I probably prevented her from killing herself.
  
  So I take offence when you say that there are no good guys out there. You're not looking hard enough. That's the end of the discussion.
  
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RationalMale

Simple.

You need us.

The national debt is over 14 trillion. Currently, our welfare system is propping up a lifestyle of being a single mom, with child support and a hundred types of welfare.

Also consider that as single motherhood becomes more popular, men not marrying does as well, and single men are dirt poor on average compared to married men... because if you don't have to support 4 people, you don't have to work like a slave.

What happens when the tax base keeps dropping and the debt keeps rising and the baby mammas keep needing more cash?

The thing crashes. And we're back to the 40's, when men and women actually committed to each other.

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- norahdavex
  
  I want that era of noninfedility
  
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dudeman

funny story you dont commit. women file for the vast majority of divorces.

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- 06CuriousMind
  
  Because the guy usually does stuff to f up the marriage.
  
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- dudeman
  
  @06CuriousMind not really men and women cheat just as much. women just dont know what commitment is. they dont even commit to their careers as much as men do.
  
  Reply
- norahdavex
  
  @06CuriousMind thats true
  
  Reply
- norahdavex
  
  I think we want to commit to our careers but then bosses harass and thats why we like to stay away from work as much as possible. men dont have to worry about that shit
  
  Reply
- norahdavex
  
  Optimistic owner I commit to my career but the reason I want to run away from spending too much over time at work it being office or retail is I get harassed by my men bosses and coworkers and to be honest I get very comfortable. I was working at Walgreen Corporate and two older men kept making sexual comments to me every day I went in to work. I complained to their boss but he wouldn't do anything because he is a man and supports men and wouldn't fire men for some stupid women.. I did not take it to HR because I was scared and they scared me pretty bad. I dressed very conservatively but did not prevent them from harassing me and one of them was married and the other over 40 years old.. another instant of being harassed at work was by coworkers at every single job I have had up to date where men chased me even when I claimed that I had a boyfriend and would you leave me alone and I would not go out on a date. Then right now I work at a mall and guess what? harassment too
  
  Reply
- norahdavex
  
  i mean uncomfortable
  
  Reply
Zombie-Killa

A woman as fine as you should'nt have problems keeping attention!

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- norahdavex
  
  Thats the thing though I do not want attention from perverts
  
  Reply
Nuqood

You sure you two are exclusive and it's not just you calling him your boyfriend while he's just 'seeing' you? Your relationship sounds like one of those 'My girl's been with me for 2 years, whereas I've been with her for 4 months' sort of relationships.

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- norahdavex
  
  haha no we have been together for a while like almost two years
  
  Reply
dartmaul15

well, you girls don't exactly have a pure track record either; You're just better at hiding it.

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AdamThomas

Everybody looks at other people when they're in a relationship. You don't suddenly stop being sexually attracted to people because you're in a relationship. Anybody who says otherwise is a liar. The important thing is that you don't cheat.

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- norahdavex
  
  but do you stop being sexually attracted to your partner?
  
  Reply
- AdamThomas
  
  No not unless she stops looking after herself.
  
  Reply
M_A_X

Quit dating men who do that and develop a better sense of taste?

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11

What Girls Said 17

Analisa2015

Then we have those men that wonder why even though they're a good catch, women like you still go for the bad guys. ... It's a variation, not all men fit the label you just put on them.

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- norahdavex
  
  Well I obviously do not know if good men exist. You are talking to a woman who was once in a relationship with a man who made her pay for all the dates and tried to get her to buy him a car. I am just saying I think I am worthy but I do not think i will ever get married or find a man and will end up lonely if I refuse bad men.
  
  Reply
- Eric644
  
  made you pay for his dates!!! what a jerk, from my observation you keep falling for the bad boy, you have to open up your field and stop going for the ex jock type
  
  Reply
EasyForYouToSay

The real question is why you need to use all caps.

You know not all guys do that. You're just upset and frustrated, and want to believe all guys are evil, and for everyone to agree with you. Unfortunately for you, that's not the case.

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- norahdavex
  
  The caps was an accident on my part. I am not that angry but I am a little frustrated at some aspects in my relationship. I am frustrated that once I caught my boyfriend on AFF he went there on again this month and said he did not do or meet up with anyone but was just there to look at women and that was a long time ago because I was on okcupid and pof only because he was flirting with my girl friend and I noticed that he was messaging later on many times asking her to hang out with him. He said he was doing that to spite me. I can tell you for certain that I broke it off once with him then got back with him after him begging me then he broke it off with me and then i asked him to be with me because I was lonely and that took a lot of persuading. In other words this relationship has not been the most stable one.
  
  Reply
- Show AllShow Less
- EasyForYouToSay
  
  So break up with him. If the relationship is that bad, just end it.
  You're letting yourself be screwed over. He's an asshole for doing it, but he's also getting away with it because you won't stand up for yourself. After the first time, you're both at fault for it continuing to happen.
  
  Reply
- norahdavex
  
  But we had history of almost two years together. I don't know howd I be able to trust a man again
  
  Reply
- EasyForYouToSay
  
  Look, really, two years is not that long. People break up after spending decades together, and people recover from that.
  I'm going to be blunt here. You're making excuses, because you're scared. That's understandable, because it is scary. But by doing that, you're only hurting yourself. He's never going to change, and you're letting him walk all over you.
  
  Reply
BuchitaBuchys

You're being really dramatic. Ohhhh maiiiii gahhhhh
-____-

And if you really feel this way, then it's better for you to not commit. Better for men who want to be with a sensible woman who doesn't demonize him.

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- norahdavex
  
  I'm not demonizing him you think its dramatic because it hasn't happened to you! The man you love didn't go behind your back to sexually flirt with women
  
  Reply
- BuchitaBuchys
  
  The man I loved and gave my virginity to, or pressured me into giving in, was cheating on me with multiple women.
  He denied it, begged for me back, my dumbass forgave him, and he did it again.
  I had random girls texting me saying how stupid I was to be sending him cute little texts, while he spent the night with them.
  
  My second boyfriend, he lied to me from the start. And he got his supposed ex girlfriend, which it turned out they were together, and he got her pregnant.
  
  I admit with my 1st boyfriend I went nuts. But 2nd. Eh. I figured it wasn't worth it. Holding grudges is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to fall.
  
  And then the both still have the audacity to ask for me back.
  
  Go ahead and be bitter for now. But it will subside. And you will move on. Maybe not in a day. Month. Or even a year. But eventually.
  
  Reply
justbanANNAz

um not all men are perverts. #generalisation418
who said all women can keep their eyes to themselves as well?

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- norahdavex
  
  I usually do. in fact I was so faithful to him no looking not even flirting
  
  Reply
- Show AllShow Less
- justbanANNAz
  
  Yeah thats u. Not all women are like u.
  
  Reply
- norahdavex
  
  Really?
  
  Reply
- justbanANNAz
  
  shocking right?
  
  Reply
Beautifiedgirl123

Not all men are like this. In fact I'm sure some women are like this too. It has nothing to do with gender and has a lot to do with the individual.

Find a man who appreciates you and knows your worth.

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- norahdavex
  
  Is that even possible? I mean is finding a man like studying for an exam?
  
  Reply
- Beautifiedgirl123
  
  It is possible, maybe you've just been looking in the wrong place.
  
  The right man won't have to be told how to be, the right man will do what's right without ever being told. You'll know your importance once you have him In your life
  
  Reply
fondue

Change "we" to "I"; you're speaking for yourself here.
There are plenty of males out there that are capable of committing to a monogamous relationship with a female and being perfectly content.
If your man gets bored and go off to other girls, then it's just not a relationship that's gonna work. But if this happens, you shouldn't go off and blast all men everywhere because of your experience because not all men are like that. Get your shit together, dust yourself off, and avoid that kind of guy next time.

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- norahdavex
  
  My question is aren't all men like this. How can I avoid them when they are all like this
  
  Reply
- fondue
  
  They're not all like that. There are some genuinely good guys out there. How can you avoid the true jerkwads? I don't know. Do something different to what you're doing now, I guess.
  
  Reply
_SweetCaress_

I am sorry if the men in your life have caused you pain. Not all men are cheating, wanker perverts. I don't commit to someone unless I trust them. Trust is earned, and I try to earn their trust as well.

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- norahdavex
  
  I just have not met anyone who is trustworthy yet
  
  Reply
- Show AllShow Less
- _SweetCaress_
  
  I have yet to either, but that doesn't mean that person doesn't exist. Perseverance, love, if that is what you truly want.
  
  Reply
- norahdavex
  
  I know opinion owner but do you know how old I am?
  
  Reply
- _SweetCaress_
  
  It says that you are 26.
  
  Reply
KitKat93

Not all men are like this. Seek one who treats you better and values you more.

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- Michael2117
  
  Yes, don't go for a guy who likes you, go for a guy who will value you. If you need help further evaluating the word "value", think about your phone for example, it probably has tons of family photos ( if not, just assume you loose family photos ), you drop your phone or something and all these photos are gone. Almost irreplaceable, find a man who thinks of you like this. Not a man who looks at you like a ripped t-shirt, a ripped t-shirt can be replaced, family photos can't.
  
  Reply
- norahdavex
  
  I wonder thought because my boyfriend tells me all men are like this. He claims that I will never find any man who will not think other women are attractive and men are attracted to other women and like butts of other women and stuff. I am not a jealous woman but I would think that a man that would commit to me would find my sexually attractive is that not the case? Do men just commit to whatever woman who will be with them and then search for sexual things else where?
  
  Reply
- KitKat93
  
  He should find you sexually attractive. He may feel an initial moment of attraction to other women, but I have known and dated men who will keep their eyes off other women out of respect for their partner. It is out there. It is possible. It is not unreasonable.
  
  He should never seek sexual things with another woman. That's disloyal and called cheating. Men do get dumped for that and should expect to get dumped for that.
  
  Reply
Lillianlikesjules

All this talk about commitment ! I mean shouldn't u commit at the very least a little bit if u call someone your GIRLFRIEND? I mean u had the choice to stop at:
-1st date
-2nd date
-3rd date
-I'm seeing someone
-I'm dating
Then -girlfriend- !!!
I mean have a little respect for women, were not just holes where u can "spread your seed"

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- norahdavex
  
  That's how my boyfriend saw women as seeds :(
  
  Reply
- Lillianlikesjules
  
  I'm sorry Norah :( I hope it works out and he stops looking at other women, and if he doesn't, i dont think he deserves you! Like i said, he had many opportunities to be straight out honest with you! Stay strong girl and fight for what you want! :*
  
  We live in a world where gender equality is characterised as feminism! I guess it's still too much to ask for some respect after all the shit we go through every month and during at least 10 months when we make children! I'm annoyed by societal views on women, and I'm glad it's starting to change :)
  
  Reply
- norahdavex
  
  I am very strong advocate for women having come from a background where my opinion as a woman was always scoffed at and my dad always yelled at us women like we deserved it for being women
  
  Reply
idkwtftoputhere

who cares if they look at other women, it's completely natural to check people out regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not

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- norahdavex
  
  true but how would he like me to go stare at other mens dicks and butts
  
  Reply
9mfeo

Oh goodness. I wouldn't say that they are all perverse. Just the ones who spend their whole lives on the Internet.

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silverfeline

Women do the same thing all humans do this as long as we have eyes we can recognize the attractive features in the sex we are attracted to.

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Prettygurl12

Someone's going through a break up.

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- norahdavex
  
  I am not going through break up I was trying to decide whether he would repeat his offense of being into other women and if I should just treat my relationship with him lightly.
  
  Reply
- Prettygurl12
  
  Sounds to me like you're going through a break up.
  
  Reply
- BuchitaBuchys
  
  Lmfaooo
  
  Reply
mishiii

You shouldn't you are only 26 years old

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Anonymous

It depends. My boyfriend looks at other girls. It hurts me but I know its natural. If where on the train I see him look at this cute black girl. This makes me even more worried because he's black and I'm white therefore I always think he might like those types better then me.
I now get that I have to deal with it. Because majority of men will look. It's natural for me to feel jealous but it doesn't make me right because I feel this way. I wouldn't say looking at girls has anything to do with getting bored of relationships.. My boyfriend watches Porn I think and its all about the variety for them or so he says. As long as I'm his only girl I'm happy.
I think u need to understand that nowadays it's more easier for guys to try multiple girls at once because of tinder and other shit that's why it seems there are more peverted guys.

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Anonymous

When I was younger, I used to be attracted to girls because guys are so superficial and no guy is going to ever marry me anyways. Now, I am celebrate or asexual because I suffer from emotional abuse constant especially from my mom. Guys stare at my mom and ignore me when they see me. I find more women attractive than men still because most women are all cute.

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Anonymous

Looking is fine, acting on it is not. Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean everybody else is suddenly ugly. I've been with my guy a number of years now, but I see other guys who look good. I just look for a second, it's not like I'm staring and making eye contact to give them signals to come over.
As long as you're respectful enough not to be fully checking people out, and looking at others while you're with your partner and they can see (that's very disrespectful) then it's fine.

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- norahdavex
  
  But do you call them sexy.
  
  Reply
- Opinion Owner
  
  Maybe in girl talk with my friends, we'll joke around and make jokes about hot guys, but that's about it. I would never tell another guy he is sexy while I'm commited, ever. Most I'd do is agree with friends that somebody is hot.
  
  Reply

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cavmanier · Accepted Answer · 2015-12-04T19:36:15Z

cavmanier

Well I'm not a pervert and am very committed. I'm only interested in being with one girl. It sounds like you've only dated guys that want to pursue multiple women. There are a lot guys that would like to be in a committed relationship. Your boyfriend is wrong.

cavmanier

Thank you for mh :) Good luck to you

Reply
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norahdavex

Thanks! Are there really monogamous men

Reply
cavmanier

Of course there are! Honestly, there are. Your boyfriend may think that's not true based on what he's seen from his friends and tv but guys like me aren't only monogamous, I don't feel a desire for multiple women.

Reply
norahdavex

Is that really the case opinion owner.. then why was he so into other women and then I see the way he talks to female coworkers boy is he really and i mean really friendly with them even i dont get that nice treatment... like he yells at me for silly things

Reply
cavmanier

He may be different. He's probably trying to build a good relationship with them and may be acting extra nice to get influence he wants. If he yells at you he's probably angry. He would probably yell at them if he was mad as well but I also bet he doesn't want them to not like him so he may put more effort into how he treats them.

Reply
norahdavex

Its really unfair though that I get treated like this by my man..

Reply
tyber1

Dump him. Like wtf are you waiting for. You complain that you get treated like shit but you keep dating him.

Reply
norahdavex

@tyber1 I agree! time to move on

Reply

Why should we commit to men as women if they are all perverts and can't keep their eyes to their own women and flirt with other women?

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