I overheard something I shouldn't have, but I'm not sure if I should act on it?

I was out with my boyfriend and his friends, and I was sitting across from him and his best friend. I overheard them talking about our relationship. My boyfruend said he didn't want to go away fro college and his friend was asking if I was the reason. My boyfriend denied it, and then his friend starting saying how "it's like before". Basically, my boyfriend was in a serious relationship in highschool for about 2 years, and when she ended things it broke his heart. He told me he doesn't want to feel that pain again. So he was saying to his friend it's not like before, and the friend asked "Are you sure? You see each other everyday." He answered "No, I don't want it to be like before." I'm paraphrasing obviosuly, but I was kind of upset so I excused myself and left the table. I don't think they know that I heard what they were saying, so I'm not sure if I should bring this up to him. I don't want him to put a limit on our relationship because he's afraid of getting hurt. Advice?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I'd ignore it. Like ImNotCreativeEither said, are you sure that's what he was referring to?

    Anyway, assuming he's holding back because he doesn't want to get hurt, I think you should ignore it. By that I mean you will still be aware if it, but I don't think you should act on it other than giving him time. If he was really hurt it may take more time. As the saying goes, once bitten twice shy. If he's being overly cautious, that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's better than diving in without being ready. A slower developing relationship can be better than a sizzling hot relationship that quickly cools.

    That's assuming I'm understanding what you are saying, which I'm not sure I am.

  • Your account is confusing and inconsistent. I can't tell, when you say "so he was saying to his friend it's not like before," if that's a separate quote, or if it was more "soooo... he was saying to his friend..." as if you're summing up the previous thing he said, which was that you were not the reason.

    The reason this matters is it's hard to get a clear idea of what he's saying. If you left that part out but still told the story of his ex, then it would seem like was correcting his friend, saying he didn't want to be hurt like before, meaning he doesn't want to lose you.

    But as it stands, it sounds like you're assuming that when his friend said "it's like before" that he was referring to that story. The way you're telling this, that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, because going away to college wouldn't have been a factor in the middle of high school.


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