He asked me to marry him and we haven't even been on a date.

A man said "Will you marry me?" I found it rather hilarious. I said something along the lines of "you silly damn fool." I have never even went on a date with the man. We have only spoke once. We keep in contact through text messaging and phone conversations. He talks of fate and when ever I take the initiative to text first he claims he was just thinking about me. I find him attractive, and like him. At eighteen though I can't be played. He is either doing it to romance me, humor, lock in some solid months of sex, or making a big awkward question so dinner doesn't seen like that big of a deal. I have declined three times, but am interested.

We appear to have a lot in common and I enjoy our conversations. With other people my age its small talk or all fun and games. I also can't deal with abbreviations, or messages that are just simple phrases. He's nine years prior to me.

I get the notion he wants me because I'm a challenge compared to other girls, they just through them selves at him, and buy bull sh*t. They were also twenty five and can't detect a player, come on. If he seems to good to be true chances are they aren't who they fully claim to be. There will always be flaws. Yes exceptions can be made on those rare occasions.

Some men even know that women know their playing ball, but they know they'll still get the chick because confidence, and the way of which they speak. The women falls in love anyway. I've seen this work.

My best friend thinks I am looking way to into it. I didn't even have to look. The signs are in front of me. Would you agree? Solid months of guaranteed sex that runs with engagement, humor, or making dinner seem like less of a hassle? He could simply be messed up in the head, but any other time we spoke he'd seem so rational. I'm pretty sure I stand correct though. He asked me four times. What do you think? I have many other men. My friend thinks he's amazing for me. I don't waste my time with men who are not genuine.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You ARE being played. You're still young, and while you sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders, you're not using it. Believe me, when I was 18, I was the same way. I thought I was so intelligent for being able to be analytical about certain situations (not that I'm saying you're stupid, but you understand. Analytical behavior is the base for intelligence before you gain wisdom and understanding). The fact of the matter is, is that you are putting time and effort into this. Yes, the facts are right there, but if everything were 100% straightforward, you wouldn't have to put effort into asking for advice, would you?

    This guy could possibly be genuine, and he could not. You're the only one who will end up knowing for sure. Everybody is different, everyone is on a different level. There are tons of people in the world who speak the way that he does to you, and are awful people. Then you hear about those who actually do practice what they preach.

    Don't give in to anything, but don't hold yourself too tightly wound, either. I mean, at the age you're at, it's not like you're going to find your life mate anytime soon. Have fun with it, and feel him out, which will take time. You have all the time in the world, there's no rush.

    • I already knew he was playing me. I know there is no rush. I wanted to hear I was right, because my friend looks at me like I'm wong. I haven't gave in. I find it funny beating a player at his own game. He just becomes frustrated. That is only if they are a major player, if I did it to a genuing guy that would be wrong. Besides more then half my days are with other guys.

    • Alright, girl. Be careful. People lie to themselves all the time, I'm not singling you out for something like that; but it's best to be on the safe side. No one is fully self aware at 18. Good luck.

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  • You're 18? Damn, I am impressed! My friend, you are intelligent, mature and you can read men like a book. It has taken me over 15 years to learn what I have about dating, relationships etc. This man is not genuine and I guarantee you that he is trying to get you into bed. He does see you as a challenge and of course he loves the chase. However, all of the wooing he is doing is to get what he wants. He is showing classic lines and behaviors of a player and I wouldn't fall for it. I have to say I disagree with your friend on this one.

    Since you have other men in the picture, evaluate who will be a better "fit" and who is authentic. What's his face is not worth the time.

    Best of luck.

  • Settle for nothing less than perfect love. You'll never find a perfect man. Some may come close to your ideal but no one is perfect - everyone has faults. I do agree that he seems to be jumping the gun. If he's into you suggest dating and taking things from there. I would tell him that I'm young and I want to marry only once to the RIGHT GUY not Mr. Right Now.

    Best of luck in your awkward situation.