It happened 4 years ago. I personally do not feel i owe anyone who i decide to be with a relationship with about my past.
I want a guy to know me for me not feel sorry for me
And i want to sleep in separate beds (im just kidding about this part)
Most Helpful Guy
Do you have to tell him? no
Will it matter to the man who loves you? no
But I know from experience that it leaves an emotional scar. You never know when something will trigger from that. It might be 20 years down the road. Eventually, it is going to come out. Those kind of things always do (bad things in general). So if your together for any length of time, he is going to have negative feelings. You kept something from the person you supposedly love and are supposed to feel comfortable enough to tell anything to. SO if you hid that, what else are you hiding? that is what he will think. That can balloon out of control. What happens if it comes out 5, 10 or 20 years later? It could be enough to end your relationship. It will certainly hurt it much more then just telling him.0
Most Helpful Girl
You're right, being raped DOES NOT define you. But it is a big part of you, it obviously impacted you and is most likely something your SO would like to know. If your SO was raped, you might feel the same way.
You don't want him to feel pity yes, and you don't want him to treat or think of you differently. You do not need to tell him, but it would be of your best interest. Why? Well because you want to get it off your chest. There's no need to hide anything especially from your SO. If you didn't question whether hiding it was right, you wouldn't have asked in the first place. What's the worst that will happen? There's actually many more pros than cons to it.2