30 years old and never had a long term relationship?

Question

It bothers me to say this but it's true. None of my relationships lasted very long. While I have a sexual history and experience, my relationship history is practically non existent. Would this be seen negatively by other girls because I lack a dating history at age 30?

Answer 1

Anonymous

It may be seen negatively by woman looking to be married ASAP and are trying to beat "the clock" but just because you haven't had a serious relationship yet isn't indicative of anything bad. It doesn't mean you are a commitment phobe or have issues, you could have stayed single for many reasons. Maybe you hadn't met the right girl, ... just be open and honest. Let them know that you haven't been in a serious relationship before and explain why.

answer mine please: girls-behavior/q1817496-i-m-super-friendly-approachable-but-either-i-scare-her-or-she

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Answer 2

OlderAndWiser | 9.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Influencer

Yes, it is a negative, as much as someone who had been married and divorced 2-3 times by age 30.

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Asker

+1 y
So all the people here who've said it's no big deal are lying?
OlderAndWiser

+1 y
I think so. Ask the girls who are 30 years old how many guys they have dated recently who had no experience in relationships. They are lying to be nice.

However, you can easily cure this situation. You can find a girl who you like, date her for at least 4-5 months, and if the question comes up, tell her that you've never allowed yourself to get serious about a girl but you think it's time to change when you meet the right girl. Maybe you will fall for her. If not, find somebody else and you can say that you have some experience in longer relationships.

Answer 3

Asker

So all the people here who've said it's no big deal are lying?

Answer 4

OlderAndWiser

I think so. Ask the girls who are 30 years old how many guys they have dated recently who had no experience in relationships. They are lying to be nice.

However, you can easily cure this situation. You can find a girl who you like, date her for at least 4-5 months, and if the question comes up, tell her that you've never allowed yourself to get serious about a girl but you think it's time to change when you meet the right girl. Maybe you will fall for her. If not, find somebody else and you can say that you have some experience in longer relationships.

Answer 5

Poppykate | 726 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Personally, I only been in one very long term relationship, and have a very limited sexual history. I am sure that this would be viewed as negative from a lot. Your twenties are made for fun and excitement! To have many relationships! To determine what you want ( and don't want) in a partner. Everyone at some point will reach that point in their life where they want to settle down.

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Speedy94

+1 y
I don't. I never want to have kids or get married but i do want a stabile girlfriend.

Answer 6

Speedy94

I don't. I never want to have kids or get married but i do want a stabile girlfriend.

Answer 7

Alwaysthere85 | 51 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 5

I'm 30 too so I know how you feel. No, I wouldn't be turned off if you were to disclose that to me. I would think you weren't ready for one at the time or hadn't clicked with the girls you had briefly dated. You don't really have to give the woman you date a resume of your dating history. They don't have to know every little detail. Best of luck!

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6 People

chrisbigman

+1 y
You're 30, but your profile says 26?
Lonewolf_1296

+1 y
@chrisbigman :P
chrisbigman

+1 y
@Lonewolf_1296 What?
Show All Show Less
Lonewolf_1296

+1 y
@chrisbigman stupid smart phone, wrong person.
Asker

+1 y
@Alwaysthere85
Thanks I appreciate that. I sure hope every 30ish girl thinks like you. My real reason for having so little dating success is my crippling fears of rejection, along with the anxiety inducing ADHD medication which intensified those fears. Now the thing that is crippling me in the dating world is my unemployment and being fired from a job I loved.
Alwaysthere85

+1 y
Believe me, not everyone in their late 20s or 30s will care about your dating history 😉 It's irrelevant as long as you're a great guy with a good conversation. I understand your fear of rejection. I've been rejected so many times before as well. When you're dating forget about rejection. If a person rejects you then it wasn't meant to be. I say, pick up a hobby or two so you have other things going in your life. Don't just focus on the possibility of rejection. Next, go out into the dating world and be yourself. You sound like a great guy, so I doubt you'll have trouble. If you're rejected don't look at it as a negative. Think: "This is the universe's way of letting me know to move on". Then you can chalk it up to experience. Same with the job you lost... the universe it attempting to push you elsewhere. Best of luck 😄

Answer 8

chrisbigman

You're 30, but your profile says 26?

Answer 9

Lonewolf_1296

@chrisbigman :P

Answer 10

chrisbigman

@Lonewolf_1296 What?

Answer 11

Lonewolf_1296

@chrisbigman stupid smart phone, wrong person.

Answer 12

Asker

@Alwaysthere85
Thanks I appreciate that. I sure hope every 30ish girl thinks like you. My real reason for having so little dating success is my crippling fears of rejection, along with the anxiety inducing ADHD medication which intensified those fears. Now the thing that is crippling me in the dating world is my unemployment and being fired from a job I loved.

Answer 13

Alwaysthere85

Believe me, not everyone in their late 20s or 30s will care about your dating history 😉 It's irrelevant as long as you're a great guy with a good conversation. I understand your fear of rejection. I've been rejected so many times before as well. When you're dating forget about rejection. If a person rejects you then it wasn't meant to be. I say, pick up a hobby or two so you have other things going in your life. Don't just focus on the possibility of rejection. Next, go out into the dating world and be yourself. You sound like a great guy, so I doubt you'll have trouble. If you're rejected don't look at it as a negative. Think: "This is the universe's way of letting me know to move on". Then you can chalk it up to experience. Same with the job you lost... the universe it attempting to push you elsewhere. Best of luck 😄

Answer 14

Kira88

Xper 5

Lots of guys haven't been in long term relationship. Most that I've been with have only had like a year in a relationship. Whereas my longest is nine years. It's hard to explain how long term relationship take work at times when someone's not had one but it wouldn't be a deal breaker.

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Answer 15

ElissaDido

Influencer

No it's Okay...

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Answer 16

sean1234 | 815 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I personally would like to leave the sexual history and experience till after the "dating phase" is over. I'm sure some would deny what I'm saying is true or claim to not know what I''m talking about, lol. Because what you say is why people don't stay together. Sex first relationship and get to know each other second? You can do it but I don't recommend it.

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Answer 17

Anonymous

I'm the same. I used to worry about it, until I started really listening to reasons most people stay in relationships so long. most are just forcing it, staying for all the wrong reasons. I'm glad now I've never settled on someone I wasn't feeling it with.

don't worry about it too much. just date more until you find someone worth your time. (:

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1 Person

Answer 18

luvstoned4him | 2.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I am 25 and never had a long term relationship either. Unlike you , I never had any sexual experience tho. I won't say you lack a dating history because you wouldve dated those girls at some point in the relationship but why did they all end? As a girl I won't see it as a negative, who knows, maybe they were all B*^$&s or it wasn't meant to be but I wouldn't just write you off like that.

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1 Person

Answer 19

Anonymous

to a lot of woman yeah it is seen negatively; like you have commitment issues or something and that is one thing women want: commitment. But there are women out there who won't be bothered by this, just be completely honest about your dating history

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2 People

Asker

+1 y
Thanks for you honesty. Do you see this Asa. Negative trait for guys?
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Nope

Answer 20

Asker

Thanks for you honesty. Do you see this Asa. Negative trait for guys?

Answer 21

Opinion Owner

Nope

Answer 22

Entity

Xper 7

Fundamentally it would be seen as negative as you've the history of what one would call a "playboy" at first glance without the whole detail of your story or worse just someone who was undatable for one major set of reasons.

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Answer 23

mrsingle

Explorer

I am that, here's my story www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1748121-are-older-men-virgins-an-instant-turnoff

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Answer 24

Speedy94 | 120 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

Girls won't/shouldnt make a big deal about it unless you have been shagging hundred of women really. Don't worry about it man

Experience doesn't matter if you have the talentn

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Answer 25

Anonymous

I'm 33 & my longest relationship was 2 years. Frankly, I sort of think I'm broken in some way I can't figure out. But I'd be relieved to be able to talk with someone who let me be real about myself.

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Answer 26

LiveFreeorDieHard | 417 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Explorer

The only thing who cares about your history are credit card companies. Dont tell nobody and nobody will know.

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Answer 27

loveisbeautiful | 163 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I'm 28 but I'll be 30 in two years and I've never had a relationship at all. So, I don't think you have anything worry about. And, if the girl likes you enough I can't see why that would be a big deal.

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1 Person

schnipdip

+1 y
WOOOOOOOOOOW 28 + 2 = 30! omg. That's news! hahaha
loveisbeautiful

+1 y
@schnipdip is there some sarcasum there? Because, that's what I'm picking up.

Answer 28

schnipdip

WOOOOOOOOOOW 28 + 2 = 30! omg. That's news! hahaha

Answer 29

loveisbeautiful

@schnipdip is there some sarcasum there? Because, that's what I'm picking up.

Answer 30

Lioness | 168 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Explorer

Well I guess it would depend why... were you just "playing the field" friends with benefits... how long was your longest relationship?

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2 People

Asker

+1 y
3 months was my longest. After that ended my friends and family all counted that as a fling, not a real relationship, they told me. But during that time I learned what being in love felt like. I haven't been very good in the dating field for lots of reasons, rejection and gossip being one of the,
Lioness

+1 y
Well I would say 3 months is a real relationship. Sometimes it's better not to have a lot of long term ones anyways.
Speedy94

+1 y
Bro you beat me haha. My longest relationship was 1 month & 3 weeks loool. I'm only 21 tho..

Answer 31

Asker

3 months was my longest. After that ended my friends and family all counted that as a fling, not a real relationship, they told me. But during that time I learned what being in love felt like. I haven't been very good in the dating field for lots of reasons, rejection and gossip being one of the,

Answer 32

Lioness

Well I would say 3 months is a real relationship. Sometimes it's better not to have a lot of long term ones anyways.

Answer 33

Speedy94

Bro you beat me haha. My longest relationship was 1 month & 3 weeks loool. I'm only 21 tho..

Answer 34

Anonymous

I don't see how no long term relationship is worse than a couple of failed long term relationships /divorce plus a few kids by different mothers...

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Answer 35

Anonymous

Haaa.. not surprised. Relationships are messed up these days

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Answer 36

Notsocool

Xper 2

At least you have had some sort of relationship and have sexual experience, dude I am also 30 and never even had a close female friend, ni relationships and totally virgin.

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Answer 37

tiredofwaiting

Guru

That is not a deal breaker for most girls would not see it as an issue.

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Answer 38

truthhammer

Xper 6

yah it will

are your parents good with each other?

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Answer 39

WhatTheHellAmy

Guru

I wouldn't care to be honest. I would probably never be into a serious relationship lol

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3 People

Answer 40

Anonymous

I'm more than half a decade older than you, and still have the same problem :(

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Answer 41

ConsultantIsBack

Master

I think you should be honest with yourself and do a thorough self-evaluation to assess improvement points.

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2 People

30 years old and never had a long term relationship?

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