He wants to be friends first?

Met guy on tinder. He's really cool and I enjoy his company. On the 2nd date I told him that I wasn't interested in hookups and he told me that he finds it better to be friends first. Since then, he's invited me to really nice places. Concerts, movie screenings, etc. I've invited him out as well, mainly to parties. Our communication is 50/50 and our conversations via text are very short, but when we talk on the phone or see each other in person, he's super vibrant and energetic. One outting in particular fell through because of miscommunication. He was waiting to hear from me while at the same time, I was waiting to hear from him. So it never happened which frustrated me.

Anyway, I'm just confused what "friends first" really means. Does he hope to sleep with me one day? Does he just wanna be friends until someone else comes along? Or maybe he really just wants to be friends? I enjoy his company and don't mind having him as a friend, but when he flirts with me or caresses my hair, I get a tad confused.

Oh and by the way, I looked him up on Facebook and found out he has a 6 year old daughter. He hasn't told me this, but at the same time, I've never asked if he had kids.

Thoughts are appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like you're really into him. Its natural to be curious about him and while you told him that you're not into hookups, he's asked for time. And you found out he has a daughter. I guess he's trying to make up his mind. Try to get to know the guy better before getting further involved. Being friends right now is good, after he's ready to open up some more. I guess you'll be more clear about what you want then. Good luck. I'm cheering for you.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You said you're not interested in a hooking up relationship, so he's not going for that kind of relationship. Yes he wants to sleep with you some day. But you took that off the table at the beginning so he's not getting too invested in that right now. Which is wise, because it will drive him crazy.

    He's trying to become your friend and get to know you as a person right now.

  • Yo told him you're not interested in hookups thus he doesn't try that.


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