Does anyone else overthink all their actions and words from the first few dates? I feel like I came across totally unlike me?

This like always happens to me.. And you'd think at 21 I would be better but I'm not. When I first start talking to a guy, I am reserved and quiet and then when I do talk it's stuff I normally wouldn't even say. I feel like I come across as someone completely different... Not entirely but like I missed a mark or something and then afterwards I second guess all my words and actions.

For example, I was hanging out with my crush and his roommate made a really rude comment trying to come off as cool, and later he apologized and i said i was used to it.. And he was like oh? Because it was a really rude word, and I had to clarify that I wasn't called that but I'm used to hearing vulgar words. Now I feel like I was coming off as trying to sound cool or like I appeared trashy when I didn't mean to.
Or like I was showing him one of my favorite songs and it's really artistic and emotional and weird and now I feel like he thinks of me like this.
Or he unexpectedly came to my room since his room was full at the time. And my room was super messy and smelt bad since I use herbs for my skin and body and he commented on the weird smell but didn't say it was bad... But the last time i saw him he said he thought he smelt me before he saw me, joking. But now I feel like he thinks I'm super weird. And I'm a hoarder or something because my room was super messy and stuffed of junk.

am I overthinking all this?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I never did - just had fun, be myself and easier to find matchups, even from those that didn't seem a match due to reputation (reporters never seem to get it right)

    What you are doing is common - you try to be attractive to another by adopting a role you think they will like, ever moving farther away from what you truly are, not second guessing what you should have done/said

    Good thing first dates end and more dating begins to sort such things out


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