I'm 24. Asian American male, 5'8, in pretty good shape. When it comes to dating, I've always seeking a serious relationship (not sure if that's a good or bad thing).
I've asked out a pretty good amount of girls since I turned 18. The first grievance is that I've been rejected by many girls my age for what seem like the dumbest reasons. Uh, sorry I don't drive a Corvette? Sorry I'm not rich? (Right now I'm a poor graduate student taking loans) Sorry I'm not 6 feet tall? And of course, the dreaded "I don't date Asians" (Hurts a lot more when it comes from an Asian woman).
Girls whom I have managed to date for some period of time, I've gone all in: I listen, take care of them, try my best to communicate effectively, generally get along with their friends and family, have fun with them despite my busy schedule, and accept their shortcomings. I put in all the effort possible, but at the same time I still take care of my own life (school, my friends, etc.). Somehow, I got dumped by all of them for a hotter, richer, more fun guy. And yes, all these guys they left me for are womanizing jerks that hooked up with them then dumped them in the street.
I work hard in school and at my job, take care of myself, and treat women with the chivalry and respect they deserve. Despite this, I'm sure I'm not perfect and I'm always working to better myself. But I'm getting frustrated. Is dating in your 20s this much of a heart/headache?
Most Helpful Girl
Just dating, at any age, is full of headaches and problems. Some people are lucky in it and some people just seem to get shafted at every turn. If you're already doing everything you can, which you seem to be (you seem like a terrifyingly well adjusted individual) maybe the problem isn't with you or anything you're doing specifically; it might just not be your time. Why not just stop trying to find a girlfriend and just take a break from it all. Maybe in your hurry to get a girlfriend you've been hitting all the wrong ones so just calm down and let whatever happens happen, you know?1
Most Helpful Guy
Well I think dating will never ever be easy. Also it is never ever a 100% guarantee that you will even end up in a successful relationship that lasts a lifetime regardless at what age you are dating in. But the options are even less in the 40s and 50s.
How many relationships have you already been in?
What was the longest lasting one?
Maybe you can try and see if you can figure out what you had right vs what you had wrong in all of your past relationships, starting with the longest lasting one you've had since I would think that meant you had the most consistency there or something. Then apply those experiences and try to avoid as many of the same mistakes you have made the next time around in your next or future relationship and hope for the best. Again, no absolute certainties or guarantees, unfortunately.
Also, where are all of these girls you are seeing and dating from? Online? Introduced to you from friends or relatives? Bars? Clubs? School? Work? I doubt the latter two, most women and girls from the Bars and Clubs are moreso there for hookups than anything serious such as long-term commitment.
They all sounded like they are very shallow, superficial, and stuck-up to me. Maybe you need to find someone that's just chill and down-to-earth or something.
Remind them money can't buy everything if they ever insult you for not being "rich".2