What do Women think of computer nerds and how do we/I change our behavior to attract women?

I'm in college for computer science, work in IT, and have never had a relationship and only a couple dates. I have a reputation for being cute and get treated like the gay friend by some women. I like that role since it fits who I am but at the same time I want to date and honestly I want sex.

I'm too shy to go beyond friends and I'm so shy I don't really have a ton of friends. I feel like my biggest problem is I don't have a lot to my personality outside computers, politics, and biking. I'm not obese but I'm overweight, always showered, with business casual clothes so I don't think I'm particularly unattractive.

So my question is what I need to change to be more attractive, what computer people in general do wrong, and what women in their early 20's think of shy baby faced nerds?


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What Girls Said 1

  • It's not the "nerd" part or your interests that are unattractive. If you don't show some confidence, and express wanting something more than friends, then women won't feel wanted by you, and they certainly won't think you even want a relationship of any kind. They won't even consider having one with you, if you accept being in "the gay friend role".

    • I hadn't considered that I've always thought that most men are obviously coming onto women so what they want is someone to act like a friend so I try to be a friend first and expect something to develop.

    • That is an unrealistic expectation. If you behave like just a friend, and don't express any desire to be more, why would a woman assume you would be open to anything more?

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