I'm 19 and have a very high sex drive and I know the way to get into a relationship with someone I like is to hold off on sex until I know they are into me and they are serious about wanting a relationship But my problem is that I get turned on easily and if they insinuate sex I struggle in the moment to say no. This then puts me in the 'fuckbuddy' zone which I do not want to be in. I have only had sex with 4 men but considering I've only had 1 actual relationship I think it's 3 too many. I don't like that I'm like this but can't seem to get out of it. I know that men have this problem, when they like a girl but don't want to put her off by coming on too strong. How do you stop yourself from giving in to the extreme desire to have sex?
Most Helpful Girl
I think it has a lot to do with where exactly your extreme desire to have sex comes from. Is it genuine sex drive? Do you do this to make your self-worth feel more whole? Is sexual abuse a factor? Are you at a loss for how to solidify a connection without having sex? Do you feel like your central charm and magnetism lies in what you present sexually? You need to take an honest, unfiltered look at yourself and why this habit exists. Once you pinpoint the precise reasoning behind this habit, then you can dismantle it.
What it really comes down to is self-control, self-discipline, and making the choice that's going to be the best absolute service for your future self on all levels. Not just the choice that satisfies you in the moment, but a decision that pleases you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically long-term. Even if you have to physically get up and remove yourself from a situation then do so.
You're already off to a great start humbly recognizing that this habit is not putting you in the direction you want to be in! So give yourself a pat on the back for even recognizing that this is a problem in your life which needs to be addressed.2