What am I supposed to do now?

We first hooked up and slept together after a night out about year ago, and have been hooking up ever since. A month after we first slept together he asked me out on a date over Christmas break and we then hung out again two days later. but at that point I was at school three hours away so we would just hook up and sleep together whenever we saw each other. We never talked about what we were or our feelings and I guess we both just assumed it was casual. But now I'm just over hooking up and wanted it to go in some direction because I really do like him and care about him. I asked him if he liked me two weeks ago and he said of course, but we were both drunk and he didn't do anything about it so then a week later when I saw him, he tried to kiss me, I didn't let him and then he asked if I wanted to leave with him, and I said no but that he could come to my place but he said no and just left...(we were both drunk again) so after I told him I like him but think we would be better off just friends. He said "well if thats how you feel". I said we should talk and he just never replied.. I saw him lastnight (two weeks later) and we ended up talking. He apologized and told me he was just scared of rejection and being hurt and didn't know how to say how he felt. I told him I was scared too. He also said he was hurt and upset over what I said. After this he slept over and we did have sex, its soo good, I can't turn it down. The next day before he left he said he said "maybe I'll see you tonight" and then he never texted me so I texted him. His friends were in town. But now Im moving to Europe for a job in two months, he said he was going to miss me (I just found this out and let him know this time we talked). I do like him and want to be with him. But I'm leaving. I still don't get what he wants.. Could we even start anything now? I know I should have told him my feelings and had this convo along time ago but I was scared. I don't want to be with anyone else. But he just hasn't done anything about anything I've said.

I get its only been a few days, but still. When I try to talk to other guys he just gets mad and jealous..

Im just stuck in this confusion.. I like him and want to be with him.. and he won't tell me what he wants and won't ask me to hangout.. and when I try to meet other people he gets mad and jealous.. he's not talking to anyone or sleeping with anyone else I just don't get it..


Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to express your feelings to him. Tell him want more. Saying you want to be "just friends" is telling him your tired of him/not interested... basically the opposite of how you really feel. Your giving him mixed signals. Ask him what he's doing and drop possible options to go out movie, dancing.. not just hooking up. Like I say in most of the girl posts like this... You're in control/have the power. If you want to do something tell him, if he doesn't say ok, I'll go with friends... He'll change his mind. Don't just sleep with him, because your just fuck buddy, a step up would be fwb's ( fuck buddy's that also hangout) what I have. If you want a "BF/GF Relationship" that is a big step up from what you have now. He might not want to get too serious, but if you stop having sex, it might change his mind... at least for a while.

    • So what do I say to him now? We did have a heart to heart and talk about how we both like each other and were both scared of being hurt. I feel I'm always saying the wrong things and I've tried to just stop sleeping with him but that just gives mixed signals. I feel like I am the one who just looks annoying to him because I keep trying to "talk" and I am the one always messaging him first. So you suggest I ask him to hangout? Or should I talk to him first about what I want? And how do I just stop sleeping with him? Do I tell him I'm not sleeping with him? I don't want to just push him off because that could hurt his feelings..

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he's just using you and you should find someone who deserves your love and care. don't settle for a guy who just wants to sleep with you and have sex but then not care about how you feel and want to know about who you are. if you let him use you, you will only end up getting hurt. I think its time for you to find someone who wants to spend their life with you and getting to know you instead of just everyone in a while sleeping with you because they can't commit.


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What Guys Said 4

  • this is ridiculous, this guy has had sex with but is not open about his feelings with you. i recommend getting him to sit down with you and chat about your concerns.

    • I know its ridiculous.. Do I give him an ultimatum?

    • up to you, i dont to heavily suggest
      something that could potentionally ruin the situation for two.

    • though personally i wouldn't do that as i could potentially create tension and stress for him

  • Damn... still a better love story than twilight.

    • not a fun love story:(

  • Become a nun. Much less confusion.

  • Ask him about it. Be honest x

    • I've already tried! I feel as if I'm just nagging him and being annoying.. wouldn't he have already tried to be something with me if he really wanted..

    • Hmm well if he cares, he will change. Does he know u are thinking of moving on?

    • what do you mean he'll change? Im not sure if he knows Im thinking of moving on? Were not even anything.. how would I even say that im thinking of moving on

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