Boyfriend and I had a huge fight, which ended up both of breaking up and emotionally drained. Two days later, he sends me an email. Is this healthy?

That night we fought, he dropped me at my house and then drove off without saying goodbye. When I called him, he started screaming at me and cursing at me. I tried to calm him down and apologized, but he said so many mean things like not wanting to marry me anymore, etc. Then he walked off for two days because he wanted space.

A couple days later, he emailed:

"I hope you are doing okay. I am really sorry that I was so angry on Saturday night. I definitely need some time to think. In the interim I want you know that I care about you deeply and I want you to be happy."

Is it worth hanging on to this? This happened more than once, where we would have a bad argument, he'd go home, and two days later, he tells me he cares about me deeply.

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My parents found out about it because I would come home crying after he breaks up with me. Two days later, he makes it seem like the words he said were nothing, but they were still painful. I'm not perfect, and I admit, I have my own personal flaws, but guys would you ever tell a woman you care for so much that you don't want to marry them, would rather jump off a bridge, and two days later, say he has deep feelings for you?
I broke up with him. I loved him so much, but his anger scares me.


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What Guys Said 4

  • He needs therapy to get over and control of his emotions. I don't think he's necessarily a bad person, but he needs to work on himself, and guys don't ever seem to work on themselves without loss

    • I asked him to go to therapy, and he kept saying yes, but never went. I broke up with him. I cannot sacrifice myself to save him.

  • I think sometimes after a fight it helps to just chill out for a while and let the emotions from the fight cool. Then work out your issues. If they can't be worked out then move on

  • A lot of people act like that. He got very angry and while he was angry there's a good chance he did feel what he described to you. Then once he calmed down he felt differently. I agree that that's a tough situation to be in. I wouldn't want to deal with that either. I don't want to try and predict if your relationship is worth being in for you. Him behaving like that I believe will cause big problems with intimacy and your two's connection and statistically relationships where that kind of arguing style happens fail.

  • He sounds normal compared to the guys I've met on this planet.

    • This is abnormal behavior.

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    • Well, at the very least, I hope I was somewhat entertaining. :D If you require further assistance, please don't hesitate to reply back to me. :D

    • Thank you. There is no right/wrong here. I really cared for him a lot, but I will not be treated that way because I respect myself.

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