How can a guy friend say he is interested and then act like this?

Two months ago, I started to realize I had developed feelings for my guy friend Jack. Jack and I have been friends for 10 years but I had just gotten out of a year long relationship so I didn't want to act on it or do anything to ruin our friendship so I kept it quiet. I also wanted to make sure that I wasn't seeking a rebound.

A few weeks ago without my prompting, Jack expressed that he had developed feelings for me. He said they weren't out of control but could be if given enough air. He kissed me and we talked about how I felt. He told me he was nervous because he didn't want to be a rebound and couldn't understand why it took us so long to feel this way. He said it made him not trust the validity of these feelings.

Up until a week ago however, whenever we hung out he would hold my hand or hold me and tell me how we fit together and how comfortable he was with me. He would show me with compliments and tell me how he needs to be with someone like me and how he hopes it is me. He said he hopes he isn't confusing me but he wants to be honest with me all the time.

Since late last week, however, he suddenly was growing distant. He hasn't responded to my texts and while I am certain there is no other girl (his room mate and our mutual friend confirmed it) I am not sure what is going on. His room mate and I were chatting last night and he told me without my asking that he knows he likes me but we need to take it slow.

What I don't understand is why he is suddenly being distant. Jack and I hung out this weekend and he was extremely nervous and shy - although he was kind to me he wasn't overly affectionate like he normally is. It would hurt a lot if he lost interest but right now he isn't even treating me like the friend that he has had for 10 years.

Could i have done something wrong to scare him away? Why do guys do this and what does it mean?


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What Guys Said 1

  • In almost every case where a long time friend developed feelings for the other , that worry of is this right or not or will I loose a good friend if the relationship fails boils up. And these feeling are justified to some extent. This is one of those cases where the cat is out of the bag and both parties have allowed the others feeling to be known. So in essence it's to late to turn back. More than likely he is experiencing this fear of loosing you completely if he commits to a relationship and may even fear that he isn't good enough for you.


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