Boyfriend started new hobby and is now pulling away?

My boyfriend and I are in a new relationship. We started about 3 months ago and this is his first real relationship. We are both 24. After a month of being exclusive he had me meet his family and said he wanted to meet mine so he did. We were going really strong and got rather serious it seemed but it just seemed right.

He he recently joined a fitness club with his friend that he asked me to join as well but it's expensive so I decided not too. I thought it was fine because he should have hobbies outside of me. He goes about every other day and ever since he joined he's been texting me less and he has less time to see me. He hangs with his friend before and grabs food after so he doesn't get home till 9 or 10 on week nights and we both work so it's hard to see each other then.

I made a comment about him making time for me and all he said was he was really sorry. Yesterday we talked on the phone and the conversation was normal with him joking and asking questions about my day but when I went to end the conversation saying "well I just wanted to call cause I haven't talked to you much tonight" he stated he was in a funk, and had been thinking a lot. He said his friend was at his house when he got home from work and made him go to the class when he didn't feel like it.

He's a people pleaser and doesn't like to let people down but the more he dedicates to his friend the less I see him. He's been distant in multiple ways and I can't help but think negative things when he said he's been thinking.

Im scared because I have started to fall for him, he told me I'm one of the best things that has ever happened to him and I know he's crazy about me there's no doubting that but I'm scared he's not going to have time for me and I'm scared to lose him and I miss him and I'm stuck on what to do

today I'm giving him his space because I know men need time to process things but it is not easy for me.


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What Guys Said 2

  • IMHO you've to invite him out to do something, rather than texting and calling, because the more you both do this, the more your rest of the time being together is on phone. Take the initiative to do so, or else you should find another candidate to replace him if he still acts complacent.

  • maybe you guys just arrange plans. even just talking on the phone isn't the most intimate method of interaction. so try devising plans for thigns you guys can do when he's free.


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