We have been together for five years and marriage has been brought up before. However, every time we will argue (its been over a year now) he will make me feel like I "lost the right" to marry him? He used to say things like "Well I was going to purpose but I won't now". Just stupid shit. Well anyways, I have been finding random marriage purposal ideas on our laptop history recently and there was one video that was saved about purposing to your girlfriend on Christmas. I thought that seeing that would excite me but it didn't? It kind of stressed me out a little bit and now I'm questioning everything.. Like am I ready for that or do I even want that? Is it normal to have these sorts of thoughts when marriage is right in front of your eyes? I love him to death and I have no doubt in my mind that I want to be with him but I think a part of me is just deathly afraid that he will change his mind like he's done in the past?
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Does he say things like that otherwise or only when he's mad? We all say stupid stuff when you're ad and if he doesn't mean it, you shouldn't take it to heart. I think you should let him know how much is bothers you and make sure you guys give things a chance to cool down next time you argue.
You might just be so scared to lose him and that's why his words upset you so much. Other than what he said, do you see yourself with him long-term? Could you live without him and be with a different man without looking back? Did you dream of marrying him before he said that?0