I guess you can say I subconsciously liked him it just took me a while to realize it. So on his birthday I wished him a happy birthday and he said he really wanted to kiss me and cuddle, we never talked about that before so it was weird but whatever, I go to NY a few days later and turn down my friends brother because "I was interested in someone else", that some else being my friend.
That was really different for me, so fast forward a few months, we hung out last week and we kissed and cuddle and I wanted to go all the way with him but I didn't want to confuse myself with all of that, so we didn't do anything. He took me home and we kissed goodnight. I told him a few days later how I felt, he said he doesn't want a relationship right now. Neither do I, but I really like him and want more but then again, I don't?