Guys, if you had no kids would you date?

A woman who had two kids already? I mean not to say the woman is bad person but should a parent be focusing on their kids instead of being in relationship? You have no kids so why settle?


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  • Why shouldn't a woman who has children be able to date? Just because she's a mother, it doesn't mean her romantic life is over.

    My girlfriend has three children, and she always puts them first, even over me. That's the way it should be, and I encourage that. I put their well being first, as well. I am not their father, nor would I try to replace him. However, he is not in the picture, so she likes having me around, as a male role model, for the children to look up to.

    Having me with her provides more stability for the children, than she would be able to provide alone. They benefit from two incomes, as well as having someone that they know, and trust, for things like ball games, doctor's visits, etc. If she is unable to take them, she trusts me to do so, in her place.

    If she is sick, I can care for them, in her place. If they are sick, then they have two responsible adults that they can depend on. Either one of us can stay home from school, or pick them up, while the other continues to work.

    In addition, I provide her with the love and support that she wouldn't otherwise have. I make her feel like a sexy, desireable woman, rather than just a mom. She knows that she always has someone to turn to, or confide in, after a rough day. She has someone to cheer her up, to love her, and her children. A happy mother benefits them, as well.

    Now, obviously, it took some time for her to be comfortable having me caring for her children, and that's the way it should be. You don't bring just anyone around your kids, until you trust that person with their lives.

    There's no reason why a mother shouldn't date, though.

    • There's no reason why a mother shouldn't date, though." Really, are you a mother? Wow! I'm not saying she shouldn't date but wait until your kids are older. I woman with young children need to focus on them and her own life. I'm just saying. That's the problem when so many kids are getting hurt because they want any Nan around their kids.

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    • Let's be honest a Facebook post can say a lot. The idea behind her post is that another man will take her of her children. They question is why is she looking or wanting another man to take of her children? That is backwards right there. Especially, if she just had a bath less than 6 months ago. And you are always bringing another man around your children who can barely talk.

    • Well, seeing as I don't even use Facebook, the post would mean next to nothing to me.

      You asked for opinions, and I gave you mine. As in, what I would do in that situation. You seem to have your mind made up, though, no matter what anybody says, so why even ask?

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What Guys Said 11

  • I was newly divorced with custody of my 4 year old son when I joined eHarmony. Seven months later, I met the woman I would one day marry. She had custody of her two daughters as well.

    I'm strongly in favor of single parents seeking a new relationship. Hold off involving children directly until things are serious. Recognise that modeling how an adult forms a healthy relationship is a benefit to your children all by itself.

    • Well, for example what if this woman is posting on Facebook that another will do what you won't do for your kids? I just had a baby less than 4-6 months ago? I mean does this seem like maturity?

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    • You know the story from which you make the hypothetical question. I don't know the story, only what you've told me.

      I don't know her age. I don't know the circumstances under which she is making decisions. Consequently, I can't evaluate her decisions.

      Two different scenarios that each fit the information you've given:

      1) 18 year old girl gets pregnant by a one night stand. She does not want the father involved. He may not know she was pregnant.

      2) 25 year old woman has boyfriend in the army. When he is home on leave, they fight bitterly but have make up sex. She gets pregnant. He deploys and once gone, he breaks up with her and admits to multiple infidelities. He never learns she is pregnant. She had thought they were going to soon get married.

      Two different scenarios with two different maturity levels. Two different sets of circumstances surrounding the guy. Two different sets of expectations wrt the girl's future.


    • Judging her merely by
      - the fact of her pregnancy
      - the non involvement of the father
      - her Facebook postings

      seems to be massively missing some key points.

  • I have dated single moms in the past but I don't think it is something I will do again. Friends? absolutely. But I don't want any kids so I don't see a lot of point in dating someone who has kids because the relationship is not likely to last very long.

  • I couldn't agree more! A single parent should be focusing on their children and not be distracted by trying to find another man to help her raise her children.

    As a child less adult, I don't want to take on the responsibility for raising another man's children. He needs to step up to the plate and take responsibility for his actions.

  • It's really the person that doesn't have kids to decide if they see the kids as excess baggage or an acceptable part of the parent. He isn't being forced to be with her in any way. Personally it was never an issue for me

  • Depends heavily on her intentions. I'm not raising her kids, and if she expects that from me or any financial aid she can tell her story walking when I don't ask her out.

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