Should I tell my ex I miss her?

So, I dated this girl about 2 years ago now. We dated for about 4 months, but just as I was really starting to fall for her, she dumped me for another guy. She was very religious, I was not, and this was very important for her at the time. I am also 7 years older than her, which was more of an issue then than it is now. I thought she was moving away and too young for me at the time, so I didn't take it too seriously. I regret that now.

I really liked this girl, and I felt like she did too, maybe we were just in different places in life.

She contacted me about 1 year back around this time, and we chatted for a bit over text. She was and still is with the guy she left me for. I felt like she was interested in seeing me again, but I had moved to a new city and was still kind of bitter about it I guess. I would be willing to move back for her though. I would even go to church, I liked her that much.

I sent her a text today wishing her a merry Christmas, and this is what she sent back..

Hey Em. Was thinking about ya the other day! Hope all is going well with you. Have a good Christmas! And congrats on the royals!

Hey Justin! Good to hear from you. Thanks so much, have a great holiday too!

I really want to tell her I miss her, and chat a bit maybe? But, that text from her did not seem to inviting. Should I just tell her and see what she says? Or should I let it go.


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  • You're playing a horrible game called "mental masterbation" where you fantasize about things that aren't real.

    For example, just how awesome it would be to date her again. You imagine it would be awesome. But it wouldn't. Because real life is boring and smelly, just like she is. And yet you're constantly dreaming of ways to recreate those wonderful first feelings you had when you were briefly with her, right?

    This is what happens to us when something we love get's taken away. We ignore the truth and become stuck on the attachment of "what if?"

    This doesn't happen when we're the one's doing the break up. So you need to break up with her in your own damn head, to regain your power and perspective.

    You're right, her text was dry as toast, probably like her personality.

    Telling her how you FEEL is clearly lame and a terrible mistake... except that it might humiliate you enough to move on... hmmmm... so maybe consider it? The outcome will look like this:

    You spill your guts... she doesn't respond.

    She doesn't respond because what does she say to a really old guy who's holding onto the past, without hurting his feelings or accidently allowing him more time to text back?

    I'm being overly dramatic, not to be mean, but to help you see the fallacy of your thinking...

    Your feelings aren't facts.

    How you FEEL about her is fine, that's not a choice. How you THINK about her is a choice. Purposely fantasizing about her over and over again in an effort to recreate something that's gone... that's self sabotage and is eroding your self esteem.

    I know because I've done it for years, but I've grown up, I've let go, and I feel AMAZING now!

    It's like quitting smoking... your old habits will haunt you for a few weeks, but then they fade. And you heal and feel better.

    So let her go, you deserve better and you'll find better once you open up to it. Right now you're closed off to a healthy future.


    ~ Robby

    (My Blog )


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