Most Helpful Guy
I'm going to say something and it's going to take you years to process, comprehend, reject, get angry with, accept, and heal from...
You are trafficked.
I'm involved in ministering to victims of sex trafficking and I'm not here to judge you. My heart bleeds for you and every girl (and guy) living imprisoned in a cycle that you cannot see and feel like you can't escape from. Darlin', this may be your normal, but it isn't normal.
I will never know what it's like to walk in your shoes, but I can tell you I know what it's like to walk down a path of regret and feel like there's no escape or turning back...
There 'is' a way out. I'm going to say it, and you're not going to like hearing this, but in time you may need to grow past your boyfriend in order to escape. (I had to do this too with a girlfriend.) Because no man worth having is ever going to sit by and allow you to be continually broken by this. A man who loves you will sacrifice everything to rescue you, but at the same time set boundaries you have to meet.
Darlin', I want you to know that there is a God who has loved you your whole life. And this was never the plan he had in mind for you. To Him, you are more precious than all the gold, silver, and jewels in the world. No matter how good and complete this and previous relationships may make you feel, you've been running in vain from the one relationship that isn't empty.
Jesus died to pay for the sins of mankind. You may not understand what that means, but know that all you have to do to be redeemed is to surrender your life to Him and call him Lord of your life. To lay your faults down that feel like stains on your life, and you will be washed white as snow.
The sacrifice has already been made... He's just waiting on you.
There are support groups to help with your situation emotionally, spiritually, and with resources. There are also lifestyle careers to get out of the life you're in: The military, working on cruise lines, the Peace Corps, and resort staff. Those may not be long-term solutions, but they can get you on your feet and away from life, location, and people that will drag you down.
May God bless you and bless your feet on the path that lays before you! Please reach out to me if you want to talk about any of this. I will make time.
Most Helpful Girl
Thats definitely wrong, and you shouldn't ruin yourself like that. I'm not talking about your escorting thing, but about the fact that you are hiding things from your boyfriend.
Guilt is just gonna eat you up.
If you're serious about this guy, you definitely don't want to ruin the good relationship because of some extra cash. Maybe you should try to talk about it with him. Don't tell him that you already did it, just talk about the fact that you must do it. That way you can both agree to something.