Why do I feel anxious when I really like a guy?

I have met a guy. We really like each other. He treats me like a queen and tells me how he feels about me and takes care of me. I do the same but I started to feel anxious if this nice thing will come to an end or he will just start to take me for granted.

Like if he doesn't text earlier I start having negative thoughts.

I am not needy because I let him initiate many times and try not to take a lot of his time. I know he likes me lot but I can't stop feeling like this.

How can I feel more relaxed?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have the same problem. It took me until I was 29 and a lot of soul searching to figure out where it was coming from.

    For me, it came down to a general standoffishness which makes it difficult for me to connect with people. This, in turn, left me with no real understanding of how two people connect and form a relationship. So very early in my life, I built a false understanding of this based on Hollywood. And that created a predetermined flow of events that I unknowingly expected every time I met a girl I liked. And since the understanding wasn't based on reality, it never followed that course of events. The violation of the expectation is what created the anxiety, which always ended the relationships before they started. And the fact that it always ended added to the anxiety, because eventually it got to the point where when I met a girl, I had dual expectations: on the one hand, I expected the same Hollywood course of events I always had. On the other, I expected it to fail. So when I got even the tiniest indication that she wasn't all about talking to me at a particular moment, I would assume the worst.

    Once I figured this out, the anxiety really subsided. But it hasn't fully gone away. I still have to work at calming myself down and reminding myself that it's all in my head. But it's still there. Once you figure out where yours is coming from, you will have a long road ahead of you before you have control over it.

    In the meantime, you might want to find a meditation center to help you get control over obsessive thoughts. Or maybe some Xanax.

    • I've experience the same thing, and I totally understand that.

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