How can you begin to understand and have patience with a parent who is way too hard on their kids?

My husband and I have two children together. They are 4 and 3 years old. Overall they are really respectful and well behaved children. My husband though.. He treats them like they are little mini adults. It bothers me. If they do anything wrong he will yell at them for no less than ten minutes, on top of sticking them in the corner. They aren't allowed to run around the house. They aren't allowed to play with noisy toys unless it is upstairs in their bedrooms (which they are only allowed in if he says so). All in all, he acts as though he does not want them to be children. He wants them to just 'grow up', it seems. Even enrolling my 4 year old son into wrestling against what my son wanted because he wants my son to "be better" and "learn patience", which is something my husband doesn't even have..

I have a weekend sleepover with my mother once a month and during that weekend, when my husband is at home and its just my babies, siblings and mother, we have a blast. The kids can run around and play freely and laugh and have a grand old time. It brings me so much joy during this weekend and I dread going back home. My kids are so much better behaved at my mothers house as well.

I've brought these issues up with him and he gets irritated or irate mad. Saying that I have no back bone and if he wasn't around then our kids would be hooligans and allowed to do as they please. Which isn't the case, but he makes me feel like an inconsistent parent a lot of the time. He sort of makes me feel like I am incapable of being a parent..

I don't think I am asking a lot. I just want my children to be allowed to be children and have fun. They aren't little adults! Why doesn't he understand this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • More than likely he had very strict parents and it's sort of programmed in to him. Even if he swore he wouldn't be like his parents it just what he incisions as the correct way. I'm not making this up here I have already lived the hell


Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree.

    He has to let his kids be kids!

    You both have different views on parenting.
    Your different ways are clashing.
    If you both cannot resolve this... eventually when your kids are a little older, they will observe the conflict.
    Children are smart... it won't be long before they do.

    I think he comprehends what you're saying.
    He just doesn't agree with it.
    You both need to find a common ground and come to an agreement before, this turns into something ugly.

    • Not being able to talk through this successfully shows the dysfunction.
      Something major needs to be done here!

      Have you tried writing him a letter?
      Or speaking calming?
      Or trying a different approach to the subject?

    • Show All
    • He never used to be like this.

    • I don't know what else to tell you.
      You've tried everything.
      The only step left is to call your relationship quits.
      That's a drastic step.
      I urge you to continue to try to reach out to him continuously before it reaches to such lengths.
      Your kids will pick up on this eventually, and this will be a ugly situation where you both will be better a part.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Because he only thinks one way and its hard for him to accept that theyre young, I think he just expect children to be babies then know right from wrong. He seems like he does get easily irritated, i'm all for discipline and rules however they need to have a chance to be children, make mistakes and have fun. If they don't, they will seriously be like robots when theyre older, or completely rebel.


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