How can I be 'physically attractive' to women?

So I have been unable to secure a single date for years now. Whenever I approach women, they usually tell me "You're a great guy and a real catch, but I'm physically not attracted to you" (and certain variations of this).

Now I have realised that the only issue is women not finding me 'physically attractive'. But what bothers me though, is that I'm not bad looking at all. In fact, people compliment me so often on my looks, and some even say stuff like "How could you not a have a girlfriend? You’re so good looking". Even when i put my pics up to get rated, I have never been rated below 5 (which means I'm at least average), and I usually get rated 7 and above.

I'm quite perplexed, honestly. It's not like I'm going for the ultra-beautiful, model-like women. I have even approached average and below average looking women, but none of them are apparently 'physically attracted' to me. I also never come off as creepy, I approach women in a respectful manner. And I'm never pushy if they reject me, I just say "Ok, thanks for being honest" and be on my way.

So what exactly am I doing wrong here? Or should I give up on women altogether? I will be 30 in a month, if that makes any difference.

P. S. Please don’t say that I just haven’t met that one woman yet. Because all I was asking for was a date, and not relationship or marriage. The fact that women aren’t even willing to give me a chance to know if we are compatible, does not bode well for me at all.

P. P. S. I'm sorry, I can't post pics because I don't want more people telling me that I'm not attarctive. Because I know well that I'm reasonably good-looking, and pictures don't accurately represent how a person looks.


Most Helpful Girl

  • all i can say is... being good-looking enough. there are plenty of good-looking people in the world. but there's a distinction between finding someone attractive and finding someone to good-looking. attractive implies there's some kind of "pull". it just so happens the women you approach are not feeling that pull. i can't really comment further since you won't post pics.

    i don't really know what is at the basis of physical attraction. it's intangible and different for everyone.

    • Yeah, I'm way too insecure to post pics. Besides, I'm a well known and well respected member of this site, so I wouldn't want to jeopardise my image here. I may not have the looks of a Hollywood actor, but I'm certainly not 'bad-looking' by any standards.

      Also, it isn't like I'm one of those dumb idiots who have nothing going for them besides looks. I am well educated, have a stable job, and a car as well.

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    • what people say and what people think are not always in alignment...

      i would not move to a different country to meet someone. you have probably encountered a small percentage of women in our own country anyways. i also do not think you should give up on women either. for some reason, you're in a slump. i do not think that this is purely an attractiveness issue. something else is probably going on... the only thing i can suggest is that you talk to people who you can trust, who you know won't lie to you, and get their input on what's happening.

    • Ok, I'll do that. Thanks!

Most Helpful Guy

  • It isn't your looks, it's your game. Women are full of shit, ignore what they say. Get better at conversation, better at being assertive, better at being entertaining. Get more fashionable, both in clothing and hair style.

    And get sexual. Women don't see you as a sexual being. Women complain about guy's talking about sex, pushing for sex... Bullshit. fucking ignore them. If you don't present yourself as someone they have to regard in sexual terms... They will treat you accordingly. Stop being so fucking nice.

    • Whatever you mentioned in your first paragraph... I'm already doing all that. Maybe I should try being more sexual, I don't know.

    • Yes, you need to get more sexual.

      Heads up, you'll get some hard blowback as you learn the ropes. Expect it. But it's worth it. A tip: be lighthearted, if a girl gets offended, laugh it off and goof around as if she's being silly and unreasonable.

    • Hmmm... ok, will do that. Although I'm kinda rusty with it, because I haven't behaved sexually with anyone since my previous relationship ended, years ago.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You say you're not bad looking an that you approach them in a respectful manner? What can possibly be wrong. There must be something that you're not telling us?

    • No, I'm HONESTLY not hiding anything. That's the whole point of posting the question anonymously. Maybe women around here have REALLY high standards, or there is some flaw in my appearance that I'm unaware off. My nose is 'slightly' bigger for my face, although it's usually not noticeable. Could this be a problem?

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    • I don't know, I give up
      Hope you find someone though

    • I guess I just need to move to a different country, where women's standards aren't this high.

      Thanks for trying trying help me, though. I appreciate that! :)

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