Are men less appreciative (or interested) of women when the woman asks him out vs. when he is the one interested and asks her out?

It is stated that the one who asks someone out first is the one more interested. Therefore, the one getting asked "isn't as interested" as "the asker".

Assumption: If a woman asks you out, whom you did not think to ask out, are you less appreciative of her because you know she is interested in you and therefore you don't have to work as hard to keep her? Or vice versa? (for women).

Thanks for your feedback!

Preference for answers are men who have been asked out by female counterparts and women who have asked men out!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Truthfully, yes, due to the Endowment Effect.

    • Great! Thank you so much for your answer! (and your honesty!)

Most Helpful Girl

  • No, not at all. I find it's the opposite. Asking them out seems to make them more interested. It's a pretty rare thing, after all.

    • I wonder... I once asked this guy out for a drink and although I knew he was busy, I wasn't sure at one point whether he was actually busy or trying to let me down nicely. This was a Dutch guy... It was very difficult for me to assess whether he was interested at all, actually busy or less wanting of me because it wasn't his initiative, which probably meant he wasn't as interested. Now I guess I understand what men go through with women! Ha-ha.
      We people just need to start being more up-front. Save us all this trouble and hassle of mind guessing shit.

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What Guys Said 4

What Girls Said 1

  • I asked a guy out 2 months ago and he said it was attractive :)

    • That's what they say... But I am wondering if do they then 'care less' or 'make less effort' because she is the one interested first. Thanks for your answer though!

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