- You shouldn't change, the goal is to find someone who is compatible with you from the start
- A little change never hurt anyone but nothing too crazy
- You should change as much as required for the relationship to last
- You should change yourself so that your parents wouldn't recognize you
Most Helpful Girl
Hmmm... Since going out with my partner, I've changed quite a lot. I think that it's been less of a conscious change and more something that just happened. For one, my confidence has changed a hell of a lot. I used to hate the way I looked, could barely look at myself in the mirror, could never see anything good in how I was or what I did, and now it's so much better. I think that I changed because he is so confident about everything and that just influenced me and I started copying him and eventually it worked. I think I've also become much gentler than i was before - I was always gentle, but now it's more obvious. It's not necessarily due to him being so blunt, it could just be a development of my character, but I'm not going to deny that it may have been because of him.
I'm not going to change myself drastically if it doesn't benefit me. Like I think developing and becoming happier and learning to compliment each others skills is very much a part of becoming a couple, that just happens, to both people. But changing yourself in a way that's unhealthy or something you're not happy about, that's something that should be avoided and I hope I'd never consider doing it.
Most Helpful Guy
While a person should always be genuine and who they really are, the best relationships are the ones which bring best in people, and that means changing yourself for the better. It's wrong to pretend you're something you're not, but doing things you weren't doing before is normal because single life is different to relationships. When you're in a relationship, you naturally want to make another person happy, and that can involve new skills or enriching your personality with new traits. For example, before I met my girlfriend, I wasn't as good in communicating, while now I know how to articulate my feelings and thoughts better and how to deal with things that happen in a way that makes our relationship stronger. I'm still me, I just have a new level of understanding. I wouldn't do the things I hate or the things that go against my belief system just because someone would want me to - there has to be compatibility there in the first place, but that compatibility is a base we can build on. Doing little things for your partner - things you probably weren't doing before - is a part of giving and keeping relationship alive so in that sense, it's normal for some change to happen and it's a good thing as long as you're both happy. But that's very different to forcing your personality to change in a way that doesn't feel right to you or pretending to be something you're not just so your partner would stay with you - that's not healthy and is not going to work.