Is this a bad idea?

I am 21 and I am dating a man who is 36. he's very handsome/sweet/funny and soo smart and really just an all around good person.

I really care about him a lot. I don't feel like this very often.. next time I see him I want to discuss taking things to the next level because i truly think we go well together.

But the thing is I'm suddenly a bit concerned about the age difference.. I'm not sure how emotionally attached I wanna get to this person even tho he's a great guy when I don't know how things might look down the line.

I'm not asking whether I should try to move forward with this or not because I've more or less made up my mind on that... I just wanna hear people's thoughts.


Most Helpful Guy

  • i don't know miss... if you think he really cares about you, then yeah it's a good idea but don't get too emotionally attached with him, if something went wrong (fingers crossed) and he ditches you, you'd get very hurt coz you trusted him a lot. Just be wise, don't rush things and i'd wish good luck to you.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think if you two want the same things and are headed in that direction it really shouldn't be a problem, unlike women men don't really have a ticking clock. If he's a great guy and he treats you well then I dont see why age would be a huge factor. Like you said you've made up your mind (more or less) and thats all that really matters. My boyfriend is 32 turning 33 and I really don't even question the age.

    • Yeah true. Thats one nice pro. Men age much slower so with time we'll end up at about even lol.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Just do as you please. We're here on this world to be happy. Don't think too hard on it, and it should be just fine.

    There's something called self-fulfilling prophecy. Don't get dragged into it.


What Girls Said 1

  • Yes.

    In cases, a large age gap that spans a generation isn't a balance. One person has far more life experience and that takes something away from the younger person. My view is that couples are meant to grow and experience different life stages together, not one playing the father/mother figure. I wouldn't want a partner who didn't share the same references or whose friends who old enough to be my parents. It robs the younger person of enjoying their youth and discovering things together.

    An older spouse can soon become an old spouse needing cared for. When that happens, it's not uncommon for the younger spouse to move on, looking for the youth they've lost.

    Another case could be the older spouse dies, leaving behind a widow (er). If it's been a reasonable length of relationship, the surviving spouse may find it difficult to find a new partner as has happened to a woman I know, now in her 60s (widow, not especially well-off - and lonely).

    • I guess thats different approaches to a relationship. I feel like having my own space is really important to me. It keeps relationships fresh (i think). If we shared every experience together it'd lose its mystery and passion.

      As for the other stuff, thats waaay down the line. I'm not looking to get married. Right now I'm think about step #2. And its not like we're so far apart in age that if he needed "cared for" i wouldn't be far behind.

      But thumbs up anyway for answering :)

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