Guys, I want him to initiate more contact and time together so I feel appreciated?

So aha, I have been dating this guy for about 4 months now and we are very committed and I have known him for a long time before we dated. Anyway he is a great guy and so I know he definitely still likes me a lot however I know how guys say they do need space but for me I never get sick of him so seeing him every 2 days would be fine with me aha. So anyway the other day we were talking and he had said he just doesn't want us to with each other 24/7 and so its been about 2.5 days since then and when he said that it made me think hmm maybe I should just chill and not message him much over the next few days or so because I feel someimes as if im the one initiating most ideas to hang out and most contact so I thought I'd back off a bit and let him contact me. Well yesterday we hardly spoke but when we did I was going out to look at Christmas lights so I quickly told him I had to go but id be back soon and he ended up staying 'you hardly talk to me :/' and then 'have fun babe, I'll message u tomorrow x' but the thing is he didn't message me all day anyway so eh? We're supposed to hang out new year but untill then I'm gona back off and let him inititiate conversations and not ask to see him till new years. But I was just wondering what people would think, if im hardly talking to him and not asking to hang out because I don't wana initiate everything, will that make him feel like he shouldn't initiate contact because he feels unwanted even though I always initiate? Will this make him initiate more and feel less crowded and make him miss and appreciate me or have a negative effect? ( by the way I don't want to talk to him just yet, I just was try this first because I don't want to have to force him to want to initiate contact etc, I want him to want to)

  • it will help him to want to initiate more and miss me
    Vote A
  • it will make him feel like he isn't wanted and will not work
    Vote B
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What Guys Said 3

  • I would want the girl to tell me what I want. She can't force me to do something, but, if I care about her, then I will listen and try my best and think about what she wants. My experience is that girls almost always wait for the guy to read her mind... guess what: we don't read minds. I want to know what the girl likes to do, and wants from me. If I really care about here, I will go out of my way and deliver. It may not always be perfect, but I'll at least try. If you don't tell him what you'd like, he'll never be able to change his behavior.
    And in your specific case: often I'm afraid to to initiate too much contact because I don't want to seem to desperate or needy. If the girl just would tell me what she expects, maybe it's something I can live with as well. But if you don't talk, none if this will ever happen.

  • Instead of playing this juvenile game why don't you tell him what you want

  • It could go either way. I'd imagine it would make him want to initiate more but would eventually give way into not feeling wanted. It depends on his temperament and how long you keep it up.

    • Yeah thankyou :) yeah well i honestly just thought I'd try back off for the next few days. So not long at all.