Why would he say he liked me, then call a quits and then stare at me when in a group?

Jared and I have been friends for almost 10 years. We are always very honest with each other and he was always someone I considered a gentleman.

About 2 months ago, Jaredstarting showing interest in me. I was in a 2 year relationship but Jared and I both talked about how I was looking to end it because it wasn't working out anymore. I did eventually end things and Jared told me flat out that he was interested and proceeded to be forward with me as a result - i. e. Kissing me, telling me how perfect he thought we would be together or telling me how beautiful he found me.

I startedto really fall for Jared despite just getting out of a relationship. There were a few occasions that I played it cool so I didn't come off too much - which I guess may not have been the best idea. Then suddenly, Jared's dynamic towards me changed - he grew stand offish and distant. I confronted him and he told me he thought we should be friends... I asked why the change of heart and he said he felt we both had too much going on... he said he didn't feel it was appropriate to jump into anything since I just got out of a relationship and he wasn't sure if my feelings were genuine. He said he acted inappropriately jumping on an opportunity so soon after breaking up with someone when he should have been a good friend and been there for me through this. He said he wants us to take sometime to be just friends while I distance myself from my relationship and see how we feel later on. I was very hurt and felt used and played. wouldn't you? How can he turn off like that?

A friend of ours hosted a party the other night and both Jared and I were there. During the course of the night I was very aware of how he always was right by me. He would be watching me or staring at me whenever I looked at him and I was aware he was listening to my conversations with other guests.

Can you weigh in? I don't get what happened and I am trying to move on but I don't want to because I like him a lot. What do I do?

I actually already told him I was interested which he heard but said we need time. I am sad. But I guess there is nothing I can do. Right?


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  • I wouldn't feel like I got played or used. He's right, you guys should be friends just for now. If a guy came and talked to me right after he ended his relationship, I would feel as if he's using me as a rebound, maybe that's how Jared felt. If you really are over your last relationship and want Jared, I think you should just tell him, clear everything up for him so he knows there's nothing that could happen with you and your ex and make it clear that you want him and that he's not a rebound or anything.