Should I bother with this guy?

So I've been talking to this guy a lot lately. I've known him a little bit for a couple years now but we would talk just a bit on and off for that time. About a month or two ago we reconnected and started talking quite a bit. We've agreed we want to hang out (just us, I guess a date) after the holyidays are done. So that's all fine, but here's the thing. I think he might still be caught up in his ex, and I'm not sure if I should even bother with this guy, since I'm starting to have feelings for him a little bit. I'm scared of starting to casually date him, developing feelings, but him refusing to make it anything because of the ex. And besides all that, it sort of just seems like it would be a waste of time if he still is in love with her. He's never spoken to me about her, but they're extremely close and I know from others that he openly says she's one of his best friends. And she is. They spent Christmas together. They've been broken up for years. I don't see why they'd still be so close if they're broken up. And I don't think he's been in a long-term or serious relationship since. They were very serious. Lived together, and I don't know too much but I think the reason for their break-up was that she moved for work. So basically I have this thought that he's still in love with her and is sort of waiting for her to come back. But I can't be sure of course. Would it be foolish to pass up hanging with this really awesome person because of this? Or is it best to quit while I'm ahead? Ugh.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • No please leave him alone for his own sake.


What Girls Said 1

  • The only way to know is to ask him. I know it might be really weird and hard but you have to if you want to know. Then based on his answer you can make a better decision. I totally think you have a legitimate concern and you are very smart to think ahead. But even if he swears he is just friends with this girl, they are still very close. And as they have had a previous relationship-it might be hard to be comfortable with the ex being around. If you foresee yourself becoming bitter and uncomfortable with her being around-I would drop it. Because you shouldn't settle-you deserve a relationship that will make you happy and if your woman's intuition is telling you he is still in love with her listen to it. Still ask him to know his response-because you never know what the situation really is until he explains it to you-but if after talking to him about it you are still apprehensive... quit while your ahead.

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